Monday, December 03, 2007

Inday Jokes 102

“Attached herewith is a list of proposed acquisition in line with my proposal to upgrade your household facilities. I have already made initial survey of current market prices. Note however that prices could vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and demand which we also monitor on an hourly basis.”

- si Inday, nagpapaalam para mamalengke.

“The dwindling resource of hydrogen and oxygen present, coupled with the stabileamount of precise heat in the thermal environ of the vessel, resulted in the premature hydration of the ‘Oryza Sativa’, hence the calefaction factor was rendered lost and wandering when the algid formation came about.”

- sagot ni Inday kung bakit HILAW ang kanin.

“Ipomea aquatica has become the constant ingredient to this Filipino delicacy which is very helpful in the digestion during the peristaltic process of the food we intake. Due to the continuous rains and floods, the harvest of the said vegetables has lessen the production in the market.”

- banat pa ni Inday sa amin kung bakit walang kangkong sa nilutong sinigang.

“Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to one’s body. It is therefore essential that once in a while, we take a break from our usual routine to replenish our lost energy.”

- sagot ni Inday sa amo niya ng ayaw syang payagan mag day-off.

Inday in the gates of heaven: Inday: Are you fuckin’ sure
you will send me back to earth? But why?!
St. Peter: Oo! Langya ka! Mano-nose bleed lang yung
mga kaluluwa dito! Dun ka na uli magkalat sa

(at mabubuhay ulit si Inday.abangan ang kanyang
muling pagbabalik. And the saga continues.hehe.)

“Ang batayn ng pagging mhusaY n ksambhay ay hndi
msu2kat sa kkyahan sa 1 mhusay na pakkpgtalastasan gmit ang
pna2litang bnyaga. sa halip,ito’y msu2ri sa kkyahang
gampanan ang pangkalahatang gawain at
pgsi2lbi sa taong pngli2ngkuran.Wla sa salita
kundi sa gawa!”

- Manang - ang bgong katunggali ni Inday!

“Donya: bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!
Inday: Because I don’t want you to see me doing absolutely nothing….”

(Iba na talga si inday..)

“The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocation. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I LOVE YOU…. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition.”

-ganito nakipagbreak si inday kay dodong (driver ng kapit-bahay)

“POTATOES, when consumed in their raw state, are rapidly converted to glucose that raises insulin levels because of its simple sugar. When cooked in high temperature like French fries, they produce large amount of free radicals in the body causing aging, clotting, inflammation, cancer, weight gain. 1 French fry is worse than 1 cigarette.”

-inday (sagot kay sir kung bakit ‘di siya nagluto ng French fries.) Nutritionist din pla si inday! Hehe

“It’s absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because it sucks.”

-Inday kasama si Junior sa principal’s office. Tulala si principal!

Inday Jokes 101

Texter: Hi, can you be my textmate?

Inday: It depends if you can abide my heavy schedule. You see, I get up at 5am to cook for my bosses, then do my chores till after suppertime. Only then can I reply but I would be very tired already so I guess I won't be of much use as a textmate. Galing talaga ni Inday!

Drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar serve with milagrosa rice (red variety) and apricot sauce. Vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive oil. Lychee and peach salad with sour cream and cream cheese topped with lemon zests.

- Baon ni Junjun sa school na inihanda ni Inday. Hehehe. Tindi talaga ni Inday!

Jeepney driver: Miss, bakit kulang ang bayad mo? Sais lang ito, syete na ang pamasahe ngayon!

Inday: I am currently enrolled in a 2 year vocational course in an academic institution. Therefore, I am a student and by this fact I am entitled to have the inalienable right to avail of a certain discount on my jeepney fare. This is why I provided a payment less than what you expected because it is according to the law as stated in the fare matrix.

Jeepney driver: Aww!

Listening to the nonsense talk about someone's life is a pathetic way of entertainment. It doesn't contribute to the good of the society. I hate character assassinators!

- Reklamo ni Inday ng natsismis sya ng kapitbahay nila!

The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the amount of sodium chloride affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.

- Nageexplain si Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam.

Nurture others with positive, truthful words, not words that hurt. It doesn't cost anything to do so. But mean what you say and say what you mean. If you cannot be generous financially, at least be generous with your words

- Ang sagot ni Inday nang pinagmumura sya ng sir nya at hindi pinautang nito.

I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of work that you want. My creativity, productivity and work efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.

- Inday sa interview ng bago nyang amo.

Consul: Why do you want to go to USA?

Amo: To travel and visit relatives.

Consul: Denied!

Consul: And you?

Inday: For life is a never ending pursuit of material and social satisfaction that I tender my great intent of actualizing a transpacific journey to the land of milk and honey. An affable sanctuary where dreams become reality and a perfect habitat where souls like mine can reach the pedestal of freedom.

Consul: Lifetime Multiple Entry Visa, granted! Amo, hinimatay!

Overnight inaral ng amo ni Inday ang dictionary para may pangtapat na siya kay Inday. Amo: So, Inday, tell me, how do you accept the fact that you are just a mere chambermaid in this extravagant mansion?

Inday: Una camarera? Eres tan pathetic. La unica razon que inscribi tu casa es porque nada esta sucediendo dentro de tu casa cuasi-agradable. Quisiera traer una poca clase en este hogar pero conjeturo que no puedo porque esta casa es fea.

Amo: Nosebleed.

Amo: Mula ngayon, walang magsasalita ng English. Ang sinumang magpadugo ng ilong ko at sa mga anak ko, palalayasin sa pamamahay na ito! Klaro ba?

Inday: Ang mga namutawi sa inyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iiimbak sa sulok ng aking balintataw sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin, aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. Tatalikdan ang matayog at palalong banyagang wika manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasambitin ng aking sangkalooban. Toink!

I hate how coffee turns into an addiction and how it keeps you up all night. How it burns and makes your heart beat fast. Especially how it makes you crave for its rich and sweet promises of grains, milk and sugar. Moments later, it puts you into melancholic mood of coldness and before you realize, it has consumed you even before you have consumed it. Empty. Hollow. Bitter. Then again, you crave for another cup. Just like love.

- Inday, nag-eemote sa Starbucks.

Sir: Inday, wala ang Ma'am mo, dun tayo sa kwarto! Inday: What?! Are you nuts?! For your information sir, I intend to reserve my virginity for the person I truly love. If you think I'm an easy to get cheap slut, well, you're barking at the wrong tree. And will you please act like a professional because you're so eww! If I hear anymore filthy words coming from your mouth, I will not hesitate to take legal action! Sir: Leche, maarte ka!

Inday: Joke lang, Sir naman, tara na sa taas! :)

Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons, but because they just know that things will get worse if they will stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can hardly understand you for doing so.

- Comment ni Inday sa pag-alis ni Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.

Amo: Inday, bumili ka nga ng mga isda. Ay, oo nga pala, inglesera ka na ngayon. Would you please buy many fishes for this week's meals?

Inday: Judging by your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "fishes" although rarely used, connotes a plethora of different kinds of the said gilled aquatic creatures. But the more pressing questions before I go to the wet market would be: what type of fish? Fillet or not?


Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart that weakens the brain, causes the eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker!

- Inday, gumagawa ng blog nya sa Friendster! Taray talaga!

Ey guys! Sorry for the short notice, I'm leaving soon. I'm having my despedida party tomorrow, Saturday, 29th of September, 2007, at the hiphop VIP lounge, Embassy, The Fort. I just invited a few friends so your presence will be greatly appreciated. I will be at the VIP lounge by 10pm. I'm really looking forward to see you there because I want to spend my last days here in Manila with you guys! See yah!

- Text ni Inday sa mga friends nya kasi magbabakasyon sya sa province.

Man is the highest form of animal. He is made to be above all except God. So, no matter how high EAGLES soar, how FALCONS attack, how BULLDOGS bare, how agressive TIGERS are, how fast TAMARAWS run, they will always succumb to that one GREEN ARCHER, standing with his bow and arrow aimed to fire! What about the WARRIOR? The GREEN ARCHER just made a bull's eye! Animo La Salle!!!

- reflection ni Inday sa UAAP Finals. Lasallista kasi ang anak ng amo nya!

“I pity you for you have degraded your very own pride and dignity by resorting to this despicable behavior just for the sake of having something to feed your fetish appetite for wealth and i hope that one day you’ll be rational enough to realize that you should not use other humans as means in the attainment of your ends. As what the great philosopher Kant uttered, ‘treat a man as an end in himself’.”

- sagot ni Inday sa dugu-dugu gang na tumawag sa bahay ng amo nya.

Survey 101

1 . What do you think is the reason why
people lie?
‡ hiding somthing

2. Have u ever said, u'll never love again?
‡ i never, i just said that i hate

3. Is there anything bothering u right now?
‡ yes, may dec.shoppping listS,trainings to attend and malfunctioned dvd ..badtrip
4. Is there something you wanna let go of?
‡ owww (it hurts) i hope i can by tom. lol

5. Do the old songs u had in ur past really remind u of the memories?
‡ yes my LLS is "il never go" from the movie "one more chance" naka relate ang bruha lol

6. How important is "trust"?
‡ very important, if you had it you cant go wrong ;D

7. Do u believe in soulmates?
‡ yes

8. How do u learn to forget?
‡ it had to done freely, by time and by forgiving.. naks

9. Is crying a sign of weakness?
‡ no.. its a sign of accepting your fault or giving it in to release your pain.. naks ulet

10. Why do u answer surveys?
‡ because im late in my appointments (wrong venue, wrong date and wrong side of the bed kanina) lol

11. Do u always regret?
‡ i never, coz i believe ehemm.. that giving your best till the end will never make you feel any regrets. i thank you

12. What is ur current ringtone?
‡ say ok by vanessa Hudgens

13. Do u believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder?
‡ no absent makes you drop-out in the class. just like love ur absent, then your out..

14. Do u believe that u have a guardian angel?
‡ i dont if theres any i myt not fall for someones not worthy

15. Do u find ur ex's new gf/bf good
‡ i dont find them.. i tend to have my own world since we separated. hehehe

16. What will u do if u'r stuck in the elevator with someone u don't like?
‡ will it take hours? if not dedma

17. Have u ever wanted someone but u cant have him/her?
‡ often but thats life, you cant have all that u want, that is not necessity lol

18. Have u ever said 'i love u' but u lied?
‡ yes.. i hate it when i do that

19. Would u ever want to go back in the past?
‡ going back in the past, hmm i want to change my game plan ;D

20. Do u really wanna please everybody?
‡ i dont i just to please boys lol

21. Is waiting ever okay?
‡ if you had something to hold on too, y not. youll never know unless you try

22. Right now, where do u wanna be?
‡ s training ko, pakshet i have to attend that or else.. em dead meat :D

23. When is enough, enough?
‡ pag nagsawa kana, masasabi mo na yun

24. What are you so sick and tired of?
‡ pag paulit-ulit! amf! parang fungi! < naks love it!!

25. What made u smile today?
‡ mababit na guard kahit inikot ko ang circle at nagpunta sa 3 bldg at umakyat ng 4th flr at walang kwenta ang lakad. may naka smile at matulungin guard ng dept. of argiculture.. hi mga friends

26. Is looking good important?
‡ not really, but u must have the confidence first

27. Do u listen to love songs when ur down?

‡ LLS (last song syndroms) ko nga ay "ill never go" cant get that out of my head, its in my mp3, my cellphone my music player list and in my dreams.. lol OA

Thursday, November 29, 2007

One More Chance

Popoy and Basha have been together all their lives. Their love story started when they met as students in the university. Their families loved them, they shared friends, they eventually worked in the same firm and their life plans revolved around each other. There is no Popoy without a Basha and vice versa. They were certain that they will get married someday and build a home together. Everything seems perfect. At least that̢۪s what Popoy thinks. But all the planning and dreaming eventually took a toll on Basha. Past issues and current controversies suddenly become the main fare in what would have been a routine lunch date.

In their first major fight in over five years, Popoy and Basha begin their heart-rending struggle whether to hold on or to move on.

more chance web site


my review

simple sitwasyon na sa tingin ko eh nagyayari talaga sa mga magrelasyon. sabi nga nila eh pagnagtatagal na relasyon mag sawa factor na. masakit man sabihin na binigay mo na ang lahat still may kulang parin. ang pilikula na ito ay nagpapakita ng dalawang side ng pag hihiwalay di dahil di mo na mahal ang isang tao, pero dahil kailangan mong makilala ang sarili mo or magkanon ng sariling identity. mahirap ng paglayo para hanapin ang sarili. ngunit sa paglayo, malalaman mo kaya ang sakit na maiiwan ang taong nagmahal sa ng limang taon.

this film renewing ones selfs and letting your heart heal though time.

i give this fils 9 out of 10 stars

Thursday, October 11, 2007

love is my life

love life

magandang topic pag mag get together ang mga barkada..

share mo kung sino ang bago mong insiprasyon, tuksuhan at walang katapusang pakiligan. it was love that always make me lonely and down. im not saying na pagod na ako. just recent natapos na ang kabanata ng 2 kong papa.. hahah oo 2 yun isa bf ko at yun isa papa sa dubai.

BF si jayson aka butch 4 months na puno ng pagdududa walang malinaw na future dahil walang malinaw na simula. ni di ko alam kung pano ko i d describe ang nanyari. masaya ba ako? or walang napala. masaya naman napasaya nya ako in the sense of may nalaman akong nagagawa ko pl para sa punyetang pagmamahal. (bitter) oo bitter ako. kasi umamin sya na marami kami. at hinayaan kong gawin nya sken yun, alam ko nman na di sya faithful saken dahil nagawa nya na akong lokohin, pero pikit mata ko syang tinagap ulet.. tanga nho. in the end, nalaman ko na tanga akong lumaro sa pagibig, sobrang mapagbigay at iniicip lagi ang kaligayan ng parter ko lahit masaktan ako. wala akong reserbang pagmamahal sa sarili ko para umalis sa magulong sitwasyon na ikakapahamak ko pa (naks ang lalim)

si butch ang isang malinaw na halimbawa ng playboy at happy go lucky na tao. gwapo at maboka, mahuhulog ka talaga sa kanya kahit lalake ka..hahaha pero pag nasa paligid ka na nya. malalaman mo na effortless syang partner, walang sweet nothings at maypagka user. lahat yun alam ko pero hinayaan ko lang.. nabulag sa ngiti sabi nga nya eh bf na may dimples.

sa aming paghihiwalay nalaman ko pa na may nabuntis pa daw sya.huh true kaya iyon.. all the while i was being cheated dumped and use..kawawa

now. im letting this feeling go.. di ko pipilitin mawala yun feeling sana parang bula na lng ito na kusang pumutok at maglaho sa hangin..hmm

i wont wish him bad.. may karma naman :D

next recshaun taga dubai na meet by chat. dnaging parang kami kasi we txted chated nad call pa nga.. ok pero sa gitna ng magandang samahan umamin ang hitad na may asawa na sya.. sayang malaking isda..hahaha

oh hayun pero umiwas na ako sa kanya.. pero sige parin minsan ang chat namin.. kung baga eh kawawa naman eh nalulungkot ang tao tapos na loko pa ng company..

at heto nag sabi na kalimutan na dawa kasi mahal na mahal nya daw ang asawa nya.. huh

kala ko ba hiwalay na sila. at biglang mag linyang wag na tayong magusap baket may ganun. eh indi ko naman sya kinakausap eh.. kesyo may mga mababaw pang lintanya ang lolo.

hay kung tapos na tapos na wag ng magpakawala ng masasakit na salita. after all na aliw naman kita..

ok fine end ka rin reschaun.

minsan aniisip ko talaga na amsarap maging lalake. madaming perks, madaming babae na uto-uto, at masarap mag happy go lucky na buhay. kung naginglalake kaya ako. manbabae din ako o manloloko.

parang ..hahhaahaha

ha ewan... cige na mga babae na lang ako :D

"bless thy heart who loves truely, and bless thy men that faithfully see one love only"

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Joke Time - Part 10

A man wanted to buy bra for his wife but doesn't know the size.
SALESGIRL: " Is it as big as papaya ? "
MAN: " No "
SALESGIRL : " an apple "
MAN: " No "
SALESGIRL : " egg ? "
MAN: " YES , but fried ! "


GIRL 1 : Halata na tiyan mo, bakit di pa kayo magpakasal ng BF mo?
GIRL 2 : Ayaw ng pamilya niya eh !
GIRL 1 : Sino may ayaw, tatay o nanay niya ?
GIRL 2 : yung misis niya !


Q : Ano ang pagkakaiba ng SANITARY NAPKIN sa BRA ?
A : Sa Sanitary napkin parang wala kahit meron, samantalang
sa bra parang meron kahit wala !


MAN 1 : Kinakausap mo ba misis mo habang nakikipag-sex ka ?
MAN 2 : Hindi ah ! pinapatay ko nga celfon ko para di niya ako


Tarzan & animals went to the river to take a bath.
When Tarzan took off his clothes, all animals laughed
When Tarzan asked " WHY ? "
Animals said : " Ur tail is in front! "

Joke Time - Part 9.4

WIFEY: "Love, may mga friends ako na nagpa-enhance ng boobs. Okey lang ba sayo kung magpadagdag din ako?
HUBBY: "Ewan ko, parang hindi yata bagay sa'yo ang tatlong suso!!!"

Mental patient is singing while lying in his hospital bed. After a song, he turns face down to sing again.
NURSE: Bakit ka bumaliktad?
PATIENT: Side B na kasi eh.

MARE to KUMARE: How do you make your husband punctual in coming home from work?
KUMARE: Simple... I tell him sex will start at exactly 9 pm, with or without him!!!

ANAK: 'Nay, sabi ng titser ko ang ina ay ILAW NG TAHANAN. Eh ano naman po ang tawag sa ama?
INA: (aburido) Sabihin mo sa ma'am mo, ang AMA ang taga-PUNDI NG ILAW!!!

Tatay: Anak, ibili mo nga ako ng softdrink
Anak: Coke o Pepsi?
Tatay: Coke
Anak: Diet o Regular?
Tatay: regular
Anak: Bote o in can?
Tatay: Bote
Anak: 8 oz o litro?
Tatay: Puneta, tubig na nga lang.
Anak: Mineral o distilled?
Tatay: Mineral.
Anak: Malamig o hindi?
Tatay: Hahampasin na kita ng walis eh!
Anak: Tambo o tingting?
Tatay: Hayop ka!
Anak: Baka o kambing?

Joke Time - Part 9.3

the truth behind the song
and hu really sang it..

BULAG:close your eyes

PILAY:give me ur hand darling

BINGI:do u hear my heart beating?

BOBO:do u understand?

MANHID:do u feel tha same?

DUKHA:am i only dreaming?

BUMBERO:is this burning?an eternal flame!

PIPI:say my name

BALIW:sunshine through the rain

KAWAWA:my whole life,so lonely

INAPI:will come & ease the pain

MANYAK:i don't wanna lose this felling

Joke Time - Part 9.2

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down.
The waiter, who is also the owner,
walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
Im sorry, Sir, but I am blind and cant read the menu.
Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer,
I'll smell it and order from there.
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him.

The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. Ah, yes, that's what Ill have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes.

Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owners wife and he tells her what had just happened.

The blind man eats his meal and leaves.

Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again.
Sir, remember me? Im the blind man.
Im sorry, I didnt recognize you. Ill go get you a dirty fork.
The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.

After another deep breath, the blind man says, That smells great; Ill take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli.

Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in hes going to test him.
The blind man eats and leaves.

He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen.
He tells his wife, Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man.

Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back.
As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.

Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you.

The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, Hey, I didnt know that Mary worked here?

Joke Time - Part 9.1

matagal nang gumugulo sa isipan ko ang mga tanong na ito:

1. does jennifer love hewitt?

2. where did vincent van gogh?

3. is marvin gaye?

4. why is norman black?

5. where did sandara park?

6. is chow yun fat?

7. what did henry sy?

8. why is alonzo mourning?

9. is lucio tan?

10. when will orlando bloom?

11. what did scooby doo?

12. is the birthstone of kevin garnet?

13. what is victoria's secret?


14. kapag ba namili si manny pacquiao?

Joke Time - Part 9

Wikang French nmn tayo
Q. Ano ang bulaklak sa french?
A. E di "Le Fleu".
Q. Ano naman ang tawag back?
A. E di Le Kod.
Q. Ano naman ang tawag sa neck?
A. E di Le Eg.
Q. Ano naman ang tawag sa dumi sa katawan?
A. E di Le Bag.
Q. Ano naman ang tawag sa taong mahilig sa sex?
A. E di Le Bog.
Q. Ano nama ang tawag sa baboy?
A. E di Le Chon.
Q. Ano naman ang tawag sa taong mahilig sa lagay?
A. E di Les Pu.


First ba ako?
Boy: First ba ako sayo??
Girl: OO naman wala nang iba pa...
Boy: Really??
Girl: ( Galit ) Bakit ba lahat kayong mga lalake ask the same question?? Ok na!! Ok na!! Pang 58 ka!!!!


Ang sumpa
Horse: Mahal na prinsesa,akoy dating prinsipe na isinumpa.
Prinsesa: Ha!! Pag ba hinalikan kita babalik ka sa pagiging prinsipe??
Horse: Malakas ang sumpa,kailangan chupa...


LOLA : Paraaaa!!!
DRIVER : Bakit po, lola?
LOLA : I-ihi ako!
DRIVER : Sabi nyo i-ihi lang kayo e ba't umutot pa kayo?
LOLA : Tutoy, pag may ulan, may kulog!!!!



Joke Time - Part 8


ikinuwento ni porky ang panaginip nya nung nakaraan kay choppy...

porky: alam mo pre nanaginip ako nung nakaraan tsk tsk tsk muntik ng magkalaboan!

choppy:bakit ano bang nangyari?

porky:kasi ganito kasi yun..naglalakad daw ako sa tabing dagat..

choppy:tapos anong nangyari...?

porky:sa pag lalakad ko may nasipa akong isang bote..!


porky: biglang may lumabas na jinny......


porky: oo jinny..

choppy:tapos anong nangyari?

porky:sabi ng jinny SALAMAT PANGINOON AKO IYONG PINALAYA BILANG GANTI MAG BIGAY KA NG ISANG KAHILINGAN AT AGAD AGAD KO ITONG TUTUPARIN...(napaisip si porky) sige! ang hiling ko gawin mo akong maliit na bagay..para mapagitan ako ng dalawang hita ni christine hermosa!!

choppy: wowwwwwwwwww christine hermosa pa ha!! ohh anong ginawa sa iyo ng jinny...?

porky:kumumpas agad ang jinny...! MATUTUPAD ANG IYONG KAHILINGAN!!! ginawa nya akong sanitary nupkin ginawa nya akong MODES...

choppy: ehh di napagitan ka ng dalawang hita ni christine hermosa..??

porky: pre hindi rin ehh.......

choppy: bakit????

porky: whisper gamit nya ehh!!

choppy:buwwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiissssssiii iiiiiiiiiittttt!!


Ur Invited 2 Watch d Concert of JAYA, KUH, LINDSAY, MONIQUE, aT SHARON...





OLD MAID : Hello police, a sex maniac has just broken into my house and he's raping me right now. CAN YOU COME TOMORROW MORNING AND ARREST HIM?


Kuto1: Kuto2 this is kuto1 over....
Kuto2: Yes kuto1, naririnig kita!!!
Kuto1: Kuto2 dito ako ngayon sa PUBIC HAIR ni Ma'am nagtatago OVER!!!
Kuto2: Ok received!!! Kuto1 dito na ko sa Bigote ni Sir...Approaching


Miss World Contestant
3rd runner-up Miss Russia, Yarina Gustopa,
2nd runner-up Miss Hawaii, Dedeco Laylayna.
1st runner-up Miss Japan, Susumo Sinusuko.
The winner is Miss Korea, Fukiko Makuto.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Joke Time - Part 7

Usapang mag-ama
Ama: Ngayong tapos ka na ng high school, ano ang
kukunin mo sa kolehiyo?
Anak: Law po.
Ama: Ano?! Tapos ka na ng HIGH, babalik ka pa sa LOW?!


Scientific names
CUTE - ahkoyan.
TALENTED - ahkophayan.
ROMANTIC - akhopharyn-yan.
LOVABLE - akhoulityan.
ABNORMAL - ahikawnahyahn!


Sino ang unang tao sa mundo
Sabi ng mga HUDYO, "kami".
Bakit? Dahil kami ang nagpako sa Diyos.
Sabi ng mga INTSIK, "kami".
Bakit? Kanino kayo bili pako abel?

Dont Stop
MOM: Didn't I tell you that if a guy touches your
boobs say DON'T? And if he touches your @#%$ say STOP!
GIRL: Right, but he touched both at the same
time so I said, DON'T STOP!


Ganda spelling
Bagong salta sa America, yung Pinoy ay gustong mag-long distance sa Pilipinas kaya dinayal yung "0 for Operator".
Operator: AT&T. How may I help you?
Pinoy: Heyloow. Ay wud like to long distans da Pilipins, plis.
Operator: Name of the party you're calling?
Pinoy: Aybegyurpardon? Can you repit agen plis?
Operator: What is the name of the person you are calling?
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu and sori. Da name of my calling is Elpidio Abanquel. Sori and tenkyu.
Operator: Please spell out the name of the person you're calling phonetically.
Pinoy: Yes, tenkyu. What is foneticali?
Operator: Please spell out the letters comprising the name a letter at a time and citing a word for each letter.
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu. Da name of Elpidio Abanquel is Elpidio Abanquel. I will spell his name foneticali. Elpidio: E as in Elpidio, L as in lpidio, p as in pidio, i as in idio, d as in dio, i as in io and o as in o.
Operator: Sir, can you please use English words.
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu. Abanquel: A as in Airport, B as in Because, A as in Airport agen, N as in... Enemy, Q as in... Cuba, U as in... Europe, E as in... Important and L as in... Elephant.

Joke Time - Part 6

Part 6

Anak(lalake po ito):Tay pinagalitan ako ng teacher ko!
Tatay: Bakit anak?
Anak:Hinalikan ko pa ang Classmate ko
tatay:itong anak ko, manag-mana sa akin.Hehehe eh, masarap din ba?
Anak:Opo, pogi po sya


Tanggalin ang S
ANAK : Tays ! kakains nas tayos !
TATAY : Hoy ! Tigilan mo yang kalalagay mo ng ' S '
sa mga sinasabi mo ha ! Ano ba ang ulam ?


SweetHearts making love ..
GF : " Luv, alam mo ikaw lang ang naikama ko "
BF : Sweet mo naman luv ! GF : Oo, kasi, yung iba, sa
CR, Sala, Kusina at kung saan saan pa !


Without U
How can I spell s_ccess w/o " U " ? or c_te? or
h_mble? or f_ck , s_cker, p_ki ? haaay. p_tang ina.
What will I do w/o " U " !


Ulam namen
JOE : Kumusta bakasyon boy ?
BOY : Masama, sabado pilay manok ni tyong, ulam namin
tinola..linggo pilay baboy, ulam namin litson, kanina
napilay si tyong, ulam namin hindi ko inalam, kain
ako sa labas


Mga kung ano-ano sakit
Cute- acotosis
Gwapo- acoparentosis
Pogi- aconanamantosis
Magandang lalake- acouletosis
Panget- icawnatosis


I saw a big Pokemon stuff toy in Toy Kingdom.
Bibilhin ko sana kaso tinarayan ako ng saleslady.
Ewan ko ba, sabi ko lang naman "Miss, patingin ng
Pokemong malaki."


Pwede na magbra?
Anak: 'Nay, puede na ba akong magbra? Nay, kinse na
po ako, puede na ba?
Ina : Hoy! Joselito! tigilan mo nga ako!!!!


Pwede uminom ng Baygon
Man: Doc, help me uminom ako ng baygon
Doc: Bakit, magsusuicide ka?
Man: Hindi. Nakalunok kasi ako ng buhay na ipis.
Doc: Tanga! Dapat kumain ka na lang ng tsinelas.


9 IN = "OH **** ANG SAKIT!"
5 IN = "MMMMMM.....OK"
4 IN = "DIIN MO PA'"

Joke Time - Part 5

For Sale - Murang-mura

1) Eyedrop (3 pesos lang) gamot sa mata w/ 2 variants: pwedeng de-roll-on o kaya e de-spray.

2) Flashlight (5 pesos lang), solar-powered

3) Swatch watch (10 pesos lang), kaya lang ang batterya e batterya ng kotse.

4) Melodramatic Fool's Dictionary (5 pesos lang), mga 500 pages pero di naka-arrange alphabetically.

5) Computer Keyboard (20 pesos lang) brand new, 2 klase: japanese or arabic characters yung nakalagay.

6)Electric Fan (10 pesos lang), ang elesi ay elesi ng helicopter.

7) Pison (20 pesos lang), de pidal nga lang

Cool Kutsilyo (10 pesos lang), napakatalim lalo na ung hawakan

9) Kalan (15 pesos lang), sa pihitan lumalabas ung apoy

10) Electric Fan uli (10 pesos din), umiikot ung katawan

11) Rolex na wristwatch (25 pesos), daming diamond isa nga lang ang kamay

12) Colored TV (15 pesos lang), kulay ng palabas itim at puti.

13) TV ulit (15 pesos lang), may grado ang screen.

14) Plantsa (10 pesos) Ung handle ang umiinit

15) Cellfone (20 php) Baterya ng sasakyan ang baterya

16) WAllClock (10) Sa harapan ang sabitan

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Joke Time - part 4

Sino idol mo?
Juan:Pare cno idol mo?
Pedro: si Arnold Schwarzenegger
Juan: cge nga spell Schwarzenegger
Pedro: hindi, joke lang yun, Jet Li talga idol ko


Bitoy: D agul, bat ang pandak mo?
Dagul:kasi nga bata plang ako ulila na ko
Bitoy: Anong kaugnayan nun sa paglaki mo
Dagul:Sira pala ulo mo eh! Wala ngang nagpalaki sakin



Teacher:Ciara, ano ang favorite mong color?
Ciara:Fuchsia po ma'am
Teacher:Sige nga spell fuchsia
Ciara:Hindi ma'am, Red po tlga fave color ko, R-E-D!



(a lizard fell on a table)
Genius:Oh! reptila scincidae
Kikay:Eew! Lizard!
Astig: ****!Butiki!
Mahirap:Pare! ULAM!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Joke Time - Part3.4

Pinoy Diksyonaryo( iba naman to)

Abuloy --- bayad sa nahigop na kape at nanguyang biskwit sa nilamayang sakla.
Akala ---- alam na alam daw.
Aginaldo - inaasahan na makukuha sa araw ng Pasko na mas okay sana kung pera na lang.
Ama ------ pamilyadong gustong maging binata
Bakasyon - sandaliang pahinga sa trabahong hingal lang ang pahinga.
Bakit ---- tanong na laging mahirap masagot.
Bakya ---- tsinelas na may takong.
Baga ----- lutuan ng mga hindi makabili ng microwave.
Bagoong -- masarap na ulam ng mga walang maiulam.
Baldado -- hindi mamamatay-matay na mukhang hindi na mabubuhay.
Bale ----- suweldong inutang.
Binata ------ lalaking gustong maging ama
Biyenan ------ anay ng tahanan
Kaaway --- ikli ng 'kaibigan na Inayawan.'
Kababata - dating gelpren na may ibang boypren.
Kabag ---- dighay at utot na naghalo sa tiyan.
Kabayo --- hayop na sinasakyan Ng kalesa.
Kabit ------ asawang nakatira sa iba
Kalbo ---- gupit ng buhok na korteng itlog.
Dalaga --------- babaeng gustong maging ina.
Dalaginding - dalagang hindi pa nagsusuot ng bra.
Dighay ------- Utot na lumabas sa bunganga.
Dilim ---- liwanag na maitim.
E -------- ireng paseksi.
Gahasa --- romansang walang ligawan.
Ginang --- asawa ni ginoo na mukha nang tsimay.
Ginoo ---- asawa ni ginang na may inaasawang iba.
Gipit ---- kalagayan ng tao na suki na ng sanglaan.
Ha ------- sagot ng nagbibingi-bingihan.
Halakhak - tawang bukang-buka ang ngala-ngala.
Handaan -- magdamagan na Palakihan ng tiyan.
Handog --- bigay na laging may kapalit.
Hipo ----- haplos na may malisya.
Hudas ---- tapat na manloloko.
Ibon ----- hayop na lumalangoy sa Hangin.
Imposible - pagtaas ng unano.
Ina -------- pamilyadang gustong maging dalaga.
Insulto --- walang hiyang biro.
Isda ------ hayop na hindi Nalulunod.
Itlog ------- pagkaing amoy utot
Ita ------- negrong Pinoy.
La -------- ikli ng 'lalalalala' sa kinakantang hindi maalala.
Lalawigan - syudad ng kahirapan.
Langaw ---- kulisap na bangung-bango sa amoy ng basura.
Ma -------- tawag sa gelpren na mukhang nanay na.
Malusog --- hitsura ng tumatabang balat.
Mama ------ tawag sa sosyal na ina.
Mano ------ kaugaliang Pinoy na nakapupudpod ng noo.... at bulsa.
Mantika --- katas ng piniritong taba.
Mayabang -------- abusadong tanga.
Maybahay -- dominanteng utusan sa bahay.
Nanay ---- Ilaw ng tahanan
Nakaw ----- hiram ng walang paalam
Naku ------ ikli ng 'nanay ko, nanay na ako.'
Nitso ----- bahay ng mga patay.
Nobya ----- gelpren na laking probinsya.
Ngalngal -- iyak ng walang ipen.
Ngisi ----- tawang tulo-laway.
Ngiti ----- tawang labas ipen.
Paa ------- bahagi ng katawan na amoy tuta.
Paaralan -- dito itinuturo kung ano, alin o sino ang mapipiling bobo.
Panata ---- dasal na nakatataba ng tuhod.
Regla ----- masungit na panahon ng pagkababae.
Sabon ----- mabangong bagay na ipinapahid sa mabahong katawan.
Sakristan - utusan ng pari.
Sampal ---- haplos na nakatitigas ng mukha.
Ta -------- ikli ng 'tita' o lalaking may bra.
Tamad ----- taong hindi napapagod sa pahinga.
Tatay ----- haligi ng tahanan
Utot-------- Dighay na lumabas sa puwit
Ulol -------- sobrang matalino
Wala ------- salitang tagalog na minana ng mga ingles.
Yaya -------- alaga ng ama ng inaalagaang bata.

Joke Time - Part3.3

Pinoy Diksyunaryo

dedicated - pinatay ang pusa

deduct - ang pato

defeat - ang paa

defense - ang bakod

defer - ang balahibo

deflate - ang plato

defrag - ang palaka

delusion - e di maluwag

depends - (see defense)

deposit - ang gripo

depress - nagkasal sa persuading (see persuading)

detail - ang buntot

detest - ang eksamen

devalue - 'yon ang susunod sa letrang v

devastation - dun sasakay ng bus

devote - ang boto

dilemna - Gabi na

effort - dun nagla-land yung efflane

forums - apat na kuwarto

it depends - kainin mo ang bakod

july - nagsinungaling ka ba?

melt - 'yun ang sinusuot sa mewang?

statue - ikaw ba 'yan?

protestant - tindahan ng prutas

predicate - pakawalan mo ang pusa

thesis - sakit

Joke Time - Part 3.2

name of chinese people born in the philippines

1.born during the night - ANDY LIM
2.born blind - KENNETH SY
3.born being swindled - LINO CO
4.born while cooking - NILO TOH
5.born as the 10th child- SAM PO
6.born while being courted- LILY GAW
7.born fat- BOB UY
8.born without leg- KENT GO
9.born little- KATHY TING
10.born with a vast estate- LOT TE
11.born different- EVA YAN
12.born uniqe- ALIEN SIA
13.born while counterfeiting- FAYE KING
14.born on sunday- LING GO
15.born with picture- LARA WAN
16.born with sweet- KEN DY
17.born undefined- SAM TING
18.born while taking a bath- LILY GO
19.born while buying- BILL LI
20.born secretly- TINA GO

Joke Time - Part 3.1

Filipino Names converted to American Names

Dimitria Dagdag = Demi Moore

Rogelio Dagdag = Roger Moore

Emilio Salamat = Amillion Thanks

Leon Mangubat = Tiger Woods

Francisco Portero = Frank Porter

Bienvenido Jurado = Ben Hur

Juan Tampipi = John Samsonite

Victoria Malihim = Victoria Secret

Restituto Fruto = Tutti Frutti

Casimiro Bocaycay = Cashmere Bouquet

Veneracio de Asis = Venereal Disease

Alfonso de Asis = Alzheimer's Disease

Topacio Mamaril = Top Gun

Eliutario Ignacio = Electronic Ignition

Juanito Lakarin = Johnny Walker

Esteban Pagtakahan = Stevie Wonder

Burgos Reyes = Burger King

Ligaya Almundo = Joy Totheworld

Maria Navidad = Mary Christmas

Ligaya Anonuevo = Happy New Year

Federico Hagibis = Federal Express

Joke Time - Part 2

Maling Akala
Minsan isang gabi dumalaw si Juan sa nililigawang si Maria.
Malas nga naman ni Juan bigla syang nakaramdam ng pagtatae.. tsk tsk! Kaya yun, utot sya ng utot!

Buti nalang kamo nasa ilalim ng kinauupuan ni Juan si Dagul, yung aso nila Maria. So, malamang yun ang mapagkamalan ni Maria na mabaho...

Maria: (Naiinis) Dagul alis dyan!!!

Juan: (Hehehe.. akala nya si Dagul yung umuutot..) Ah.. Pabayaan mo lang si Dagul dyan. Di naman sya nang-aano eh.. At saka ok lang ako dito hehehe...

Maria: (galit) No way! Dagul, shooo! Sabing alis dyan, baka mataihan ka ni Juan!!!


Kuba at Pating

May isang barkong lumulubog at ang natira lng ay si kuba...
nakita nya si pating
Kuba:sige pating kainin mo na ko. wala nmn akong saysay sa mundo
Pating: Wag mo nga kong linlangin!TURTLE KA EH!


3 bisaya

May 3 bisaya sa isang restawrant...
Gwardya:Bawal bisaya dito!
Bisaya3:Naku pari panu tayu makakapasuk?
Bisaya1:Alam ku na!
Papasok na si Bisaya1
Gwardya:Ano Pangalan mo?
Bisaya1:Pidru hu
Gwardya:Alis bisaya ka!
Si bisaya2 naman...
Gwardya:Ano pangalan mo?
Bisaya2:Firdinand po!
Gwardya:Bisaya k alis!
SI 3 naman
Gwardya:ano pangalan mo?
bisaya3:Peter po
Gwardya:sige pasok ka na!
Bisaya3:Tink yu sir napakabait nimo!


Binaligtad lng
recitation sa subject na math ni juan at pedro...
at madalas magpagalingan si juan at pedro pagdating sa math...
Titser : OK class question 1+5?
(sabay nagtaas ng kamay c juan at pedro...)
Titser : Cge Pedro ano sagot...
Pedro : (ala ka ngayon juan (insulto ni kay juan))
Ma'am 6 po..
Titser : correct.. ok next question 5+1
cge juan kay naman sumagot...
Juan : un e un e pambihira naman pag-mahirap sakin e...

Joke Time - Part 1

Part 1

Zodiac Sign
May magkasintahan nagsa-star gazing:
BF : Luv, anong zodiac sign mo?
GF : Zodiac sign? Ano yon?
BF : Yung Horoscope mo. Gaya ko, sa 'kin Cancer.
GF : Ah, ganun? Sa 'kin Almoranas!


Ahit Nalang

May mama sa barber shop...
Mama:Magkano gupit?
Barbero:P50 po
Mama:magkano ahit?
Barbero:P25 po
Mama:Sige ahitan mo buhok ko!


Sa Hell

Merong 2 lalake at 1 babae pupunta hell...
satanas:ikaw! ano ang kasalanan mo?
lalake1:nagnakaw ho!
satanas:sige diretso sa impyerno!ikaw nmn ano nagawa mo?
lalake2:nangrape po
satanas:sige diretso karin sa impyerno!at ikaw babae ano ang kasalanan mo?
babae:GRO po
satanas sige diretso ka sa kwarto ko!


Mamatay ka na

Isang gabi naglalakad ang magkaibigang Juan at Pedro:
Juan: Pare ihi muna ko sandali!!
Pedro: Sige pare, hintayin na lang kita dito!
Juan: Aray!!!
Pedro: Bakit?
Juan: Nakagat ako na ahas!
Pedro: Saan?
Juan: Sa anu ko!
Pedro: Ha!!! Anu gagawin koh?
Juan: Pumunta ka ng hospital, humungi ka ng lunas!!
(At pumunta nga c Pedro sa hospital)
Pedro: Doc yung kaibigan ko nakagat ng ahas, anu po ba ang gagawin ko?
Doc: Madali lang yan! Sipisipin mu ung nakagat tapos idura mu ung dugo.
(At bumalik si Pedro kay Juan)
Juan: Anu sabi ng doktor?
Pedro: Ikinalulungkot ko Juan, mamamatay ka na!!!!


Referee: for the last fight from the barangay matahimik bugbugan street wearing blue boxer "juan pablo!!" and from the other side wearing no boxer the dark figter"pablo juan"
are yu ridi tu rambul!!!!
Juan Pablo(duling): ay ref!! di naman tama yan dalwa dalwa kalaban ko
Pablo Juan(bulag): takot ka na sakin.... pag nakita tatamaan ka sakin wag kang mag tago mag pakita ka...


Away Nag aaway ang mag asawa:
Girl: Ang kapal ng mukha mo!
Boy: Ang kapal mo din!
Girl: Punyeta ka!
Boy: Punyeta ka rin!
Girl: Putang ina mo!
Boy: Putang ina mo rin!
Girl: Hayop ka SUPOT!!
Boy: Sorry na Honey.. Wag ka naman masyadong maingay bka marinig ng kapitbahay..


Anak:Tay san ko po ba nakuha ang talino ko?
Tatay:Sa nanay mo kasi ang talino ko nasakin pa!

Joke Time - Unang Putok

Erap Jokes

peace and order

prez bush and erap visited mindanao.Bush: By d way mr. president hows d present peace n order here in mindanao?Erap: A ung fish marami d2 pro ung order wala pa!!!


pasa load

ERAP: Loi, pasahan mo nga ako ng 2 my importante lang akong itetext. ~ LOI: (P2 send) ~ ERAP: (message received) OK!! got it thanks! ~ LOI: Tanga! wag ka ng magreply, Sayang!! ~ ERAP: ok!


DNA Test

You can now identify people through DNA: Taong-grasa : DNAliligo ~ Unano : DNAtatangkad ~ Payatot : DNAkumakain ~ Osama Bin Laden : DNAhuhuli ~ Ping Lacson : DNAtatakot ~Erap : DNAmakapambabae ~GMA : DNAaamin ~

dagdag ko lng Govyerno: DNAkikinig..ehehehe


Erap & d' Steward

Steward: Sir r u done? ~ Erap: No, i'm Erap ~ Steward: i mean r u finished sir? ~ Erap: No, i'm a Filipino ~ Steward: i mean r u through? ~ Erap: Wat do u think of me FALSE?

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Beutiful girls

his version
by Sean Kingston

You're way too beautiful girl
That's why it will never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do you dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over

Jr. Sean kingston
See it started at the park, used to chill after dark
Oh, when you took my arm, that's when we fell apart
Cause we both thought, that love last forever
They say we're to young, to get ourselves' sprung
Oh we didn't care, we made it very clear
And they also said, that we couldn't last together
See it's very divine, you're one of a kind
But you mush up my mind, you ought to get declined
Oh Lord
My baby is driving me crazy

You're way too beautiful girl
That's why it will never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do you dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over

It was back in 99, watching movies all the time
Oh when i went away for doing my first crime
And I never thought, that we was gonna see each other
And then I came out, mommy move me down south
And oh, I was with my girl, who i though was my world
It came out to be, that she wasn't the girl for me
see it's very divine, you're one of a kind
but you mush up my mind, you ought to get declined
oh lord my baby is driving me crazy

You're way too beautiful girl
That's why it will never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do you dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over

now we are fussing and now we are fighting
please tell me why, i'm feeling slighted
and i don't know, how to make it better
your dating other guys, your telling me lies
oh i can't believe what i'm seeing with my eyes
i'm losing my mind, and i don't think it's clever

You're way too beautiful girl
That's why it will never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do you dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal, suicidallll

our reply
by jojo

Beautiful Girls

I'm way too cool for ya boy
That's why it'll never work
I'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
We're only gonna do your dirt
We'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it's over

Yeah yeah

I remember when
I was hanging with my friends
That's when I caught your eye
You thought that I was fly
Right then you wished that I would be your baby (be your baby)
You try to get some game
Asking me girl what ya name
All that ice upon ya chain
So I asked you the same
Something tells me that we have fun together (fun together)

I ain't easy to find
I'm a one of a kind
Oh when I judge your wine
I know your only mine
Tonight is yours
Tomorrow is for another guy (another guy)

I'm way too cool for ya boy
That's why it'll never work
I'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
We're only gonna do your dirt
We'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it's over

You've been calling me
Leaving messages all week
Was your curiousity
Got ya knees weak
I'm not looking for a man
So I don't want no confusion (no confusion)
I took ya to the floor
Got ya begging me for more
But that was my queue to go
So I hit the door
I let you hot
With your mind used to running wild (running wild)

I ain't easy to find
I'm a one of a kind
Oh when I judge your wine
I know your only mine
If you stick around
Be careful not to fall in love (fall in love)

I'm way too cool for ya boy
That's why it'll never work
I'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
We're only gonna do your dirt
We'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it's over

Now a couple months have past
Never thought that this would last
Oh everybody asked
How ya got a girl like that
But you should've known
That nothing lasts forever (lasts forever)
I mashed up ya mind
When I tell you lies
But boy don't be suprised
That I'm seeing other guys
I'm too young to settle
And you should've known better (known better)

Damn all these beautiful girls (you should have known)
We're only gonna do your dirt (cos I'll have)
I'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it's over

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

britains' got talent Connie Talbot age 6

Connie Talbot age 6

Semi-finals - Ben

finals - Somewhore over the rainbow

Pussycat dolls - Bottons live (Best Performance)

Monday, August 20, 2007

X rated poem


I slide my fingers beneath your panties,
Pass the garden you display.
Pausing at your flowers entry,
Where my fingers slowly play.
I feel your heats drawing power,
I feel the softness of your skin.
I slowly enter with my finger,
As you pull me further in.
Your hips rock to forward motion,
Steady pace for what you seek.
Pleasure in the simplest action,
Takes you up on passions peak.
Our kisses deepen with each second,
Tongues drinking lovers wine.
Without intent their keeping rhythm,
Synchronized in perfect time.
Our lips part for sighing moments,
Cries of ecstasies release.
Heavy breath in rapid breathing,
With one goal, to only please.
Trailing kisses to your nipples,
Rising up to meet my lips,
Circling motions purchase pleasure,
With not a single pleasure missed.
Further down across your belly,
Nearing to your gardens gate.
I take in your flowers fragrance,
Craving now your flowers taste.
I slowly part your lips of passion,
Slip my tongue inside your door.
One taste is but an appetizer,
I go back while seeking more.
I slide my palm across your stomach,
Your hands holding to me tight.
In moans you rock me in your garden,
A quickened pace to our delight.
Your thighs tighten then start shaking,
To vibrate my lips below.
Releasing moans of sexual tension,
Before your hand will let me go.
I slide up along beside you,
With pleasured laughs you roll on top.
Your fingers wrap around my handle,
Gently holding passions rod.
Up and down your hand is moving,
Priming for what's next to be.
Lips tighten for my pleasure,
Then slide down the length of me.
Pausing there for passing moments,
Then repeat your destined coarse.
Up and down repeated motion,
Your lips are now my pleasured source.
You break your rhythm for fleeting moments,
Then return again to find,
An eager member waits attentive,
For the love that you provide.
I finally end the love your giving,
Stopping all your gentle play.
I want our love to find its climax,
In a much different way.
You are sitting now upon me,
My palms hold your rising breasts.
I enter slow into your chamber,
Feel the heat from your love nest.
Your hands rest upon my stomach,
As you slide me deep inside.
You increase your gentle bouncing,
To a fast and furious ride.
We can feel the friction rising,
Lighting up what once was dark.
To ignite a raging furnace,
Starting out with just a spark.
We explode through all life's tension,
To freedom only sex can claim.
A needed moment for our bodies,
Provided by a lovers game.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Things i do when im on a sick leave =)

watch dvd - lahat ng na miss kong palabas
the simpsons movie
die hard 4
harry potter
ratatouille (ay di ko pl npannod ayaw mag play s aking pirated na dvd)..ehehe

at advance na ako
hairspray.. yehey!!

mag laro ngword hunt
na lagi kong tinutulugan
di ko mahanap kasi naipit sa cover ng dvd
interesting sya pag mabagal magbukas ng computer mo

eat galore
pancit canton ( di ko alam kung kailan ako last tym naka kain nun)
buko festival
sweets overload
ubusin ang pasalubong (ehehe joke lng)

watch tv till morning..

maiba nman

hay ang labo ng buhay pag ibig ko..


tanga na tlg ako..

kala ko madami na akong alam pero pag sa sarili ko wala akong magandang ginagwa..

puro katangahan..

its always running after the one i love...

y not walk na lang.. ehehe

buhay buhay...

good luck..

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Sabihin by Zelle


Bakit wala ka pa?
Kasama ka'y parang nag-iisa:
Pangakong nag-mamahal,
aalis ka rin pala

Sabihin mo na kung babalik ka pa,..
para di na mag-hintay.
Sabihin mo na kung aayaw ka na,
para lang malaman ko.

Naririnig mo ba ako?
Sigaw ko ba'y walang tinig?
Naka-yukong walang imik,
naririnig naman ako.

Sabihin mo na kung babalik ka pa,..
para di na mag-hintay.
Sabihin mo na kung aayaw ka na,
para lang malaman ko

Iiyak nalang…iiyak nalng

Bakit wala ka pa?
Naririnig naman ako

Sabihin mo na kung babalik ka pa,..
para di na mag-hintay.
Sabihin mo na kung aayaw ka na,
para lang malaman ko.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Monday, July 02, 2007


i txted almost all the people i can talk to..

wala.. walang makausap

walang makaramay sa naramdaman ko ngayon..

i feel so alone

i was left with empty hand...

wrong moves

wrong person

and a broken heart.



1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.


At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.
At age 35 success is . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.


1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
Cool You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.


1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when yo u choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.


1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

The Packet of Cookies

A young lady was waiting for her flight in the boarding room of a big airport.

As she would need to wait many hours, she decided to buy a book to spend her time. She also bought a packet of cookies.

She sat down in an armchair, in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace.

Beside the armchair where the packet of cookies lay, a man sat down on the next seat, opened his magazine and started reading.

When she took out the first cookie, the man took also one. She felt irritated but she said nothing. She just thought: "What a nerve! If I was in the mood, I would punch him for daring!"

For each cookie she took, the man took one too. This was infuriating her but she didn't want to cause a scene.

When only one cookie remained, she thought: "Ah... What this abusive man do now?" Then the man, taking the last cookie, divided it into half, giving her one half.

Ah! That was too much! She was too much angry now! In a huff, she too her book, her things and stormed to the boarding place.

When she sat down in her seat, inside the plane, she looked into her purse to take her eyeglasses, and, to her surprise, her packet of cookies was there, untouched, unopened!

She felt so ashamed!! She realized that she was wrong... She had forgotten that her cookies were kept in her purse.

The man had divided his cookies with her, without feeling angered or bitter.

... While she had been very angry, thinking that she was dividing her cookies with him. And now there is no chance to explain herself... nor to apologize.

There are 4 things that you cannot recover.

The stone... after the throw!

The word... after it's said!

The occasion... after the loss!

The time... after it's gone!

Heaven's Phone Book

Does Heaven have a phone number?

Mommy went to Heaven,

but I need her here today,

My tummy hurts and I fell down,

I need her right away,

I really need your help, operater

to find her in this book?

Is heaven in the yellow part,

I don't know where to look.

I think my daddy needs her too,

at night I hear him cry.

I hear him call her name sometimes,

but I really don't know why.

Maybe if I call her,

she will hurry home to me.

Is Heaven very far away,

is it across the sea?

She's been gone a long, long time

she needs to come home now!

I really need to reach her,

but I simply don't know how.

Help me find the number please,

is it listed under Heaven?

I can't read these big big words,

I am only seven.

I'm sorry operator,

I didn't mean to make you cry,

Is your tummy hurting too,

or is there something in your eye?

If I call my church maybe they will know.

Mommy said when we need help

that's where we should go.

I found the number to my church

tacked up on the wall.

Thank you operator,

I'll give them a call.


Dear Mommy,

I am in Heaven now, sitting on Jesus' lap.

He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken.

I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what has happened.

I was so excited when I began realizing my existence.

I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes.

I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings.

I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.

Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me.

Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry.

I heard Daddy yelling back.

I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon.

I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day.

I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.

That same day, the most horrible thing happened.

A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in.

I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me.

Maybe you never heard me.

The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming,

"Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me."

Complete terror is all I felt.

I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore.

Then the monster started ripping my arms off.

It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain.

It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop.

I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off.

Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying.

I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me.

I wanted to make all your tears go away.

I had so many plans to make you happy.

Now I couldn't; all my dreams were shattered.

Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all.

I wanted more than anything to be your daughter.

No use now, for I was dying a painful death.

I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you.

I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand.

And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead.

I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place.

I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone.

The angel took me to Jesus and set me on His lap.

He said He loved me, and He was my Father. Then I was happy. I asked Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion.

I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels."

I don't know what abortion is;

I guess that's the name of the monster.

I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl.

I tried very hard to live.

I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful.

It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live.

I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you.

I didn't want to die.

Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster.

Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did.

Please be careful.


Your Baby Girl


-unknown author-

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story & listened to her prayers which ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma & good-bye Grandpa."

The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?" The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do." The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed & listened to her prayers which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy & good-bye Grandma.." The next day the grandmother died. Oh my gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say: "God bless Mommy & good-bye Daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night & got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch & watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch & jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief & went home.

When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late; what's the matter?" He said, "I don't want to talk about it; I've just spent the worst day of my life." She said, "You think you had a bad day; you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf instructor dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"

How to Install Love

-unknown author-

Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let's see...I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

10 signs kapag brokenhearted

1.) Hunger stroke- Kahit na gutom hindi parin kumakain.Minsan hindi makaramdam ng gutom..malalaman mo na lang na kailangan mo nang kumain kapag randam mo na nahihilo ka na.

2.) Lamoness- Ito yung tipo na gusto mo na lang kumain, lahat..basta masarap pero pag kumakain ka naman e lumilipad sa kawalan ang isipan at parang wala kang nalalasahan.

3.) Kama derie- Palaging nasa kama. Pero hindi naman natutulog.Mas feel mo na patay ang ilaw..nag iimagine ng mga good memories ninyo then kung ano yung bagay na kapalpakan na iniisip mong sana hindi nalang nanyari then saka ka magiisip na sana totoong may time machine.

4.) Kama tose- Palaging nasa kama rin. Pero para matulog lang. Tulog lang ang sagot sa problema. Magigising ka na lang para kumain ng konti, jumingel, o magbasa ng text message at nagbabaka sakali na may marereceive kang txt messages na " I miss u d q pla kyang mwala ka, tyo na ulet" or "Ikw pla tlaga ang lab q,at hindi sya".

5.) Mall freak- Feel mo na i treat na lang ang sarili. Bibili ka ng kahit na kung anong gusto mong bilhin(kapag may pera). Sa pag uwi saka mo lang mapapansin na mga walang kwentang bagay pala ang pinamili mo.

6.) The Barkad's- Mag aaya ka ng mga kaibigan mo na mag mall kayo o mamasyal, kadalasan yung mga kaibigan na alam mong kilala at alam ang kwento ninyo. Umaasa ka rin sa mga comments na tulad ng mga ganito "Feel ko mahal ka parin nun, Siya ang may mali pare, Ipakikilala kita sa ibang kilala ko na mas maganda pa ron(my favorite), Magkakabalikan rin kayo" at iba pang comments na alam mong makakapag paginhawa sa iyo.

7.) Beermate- Common na ito.Kadalasang unang ginagawa sa unang araw na nabasted/nakipag break ang dyowa/may ibang lalaki ang dyowa/dating lalaki pala ang dyowa.
May 2 uri nito.

1.)Mas gusto ng may kasama para may paglalabasan ng sama ng loob.
2.)Mas prefer na walang kasama. Mas gustong nagiisa. Kapag lasing sila yung kadalasang nagpapakilalang anak ng mayor,congressman o general.

8.) Suicidal- Common na rin. Minsan panakot lang. Kadalasang may titulo na "Mahal na mahal kita" "Hindi ko kayang mawala ka" ang mga suicide notes. Pang jologs na style e yung text message sa mahal mo na magpapakamatay ka then saka mag we wait ng mga ilang oras para sa reply nya na "Wag mong i2loy yan, mgusap tyo, mhal prin kta".

9.) Internitwit- Ito yung mga tipo ng sa internet naglalabas ng sama ng loob. Tambay ng chatrooms at nagbabaka sakaling may makikitang kapalit nya at mawawala yung pagka broken hearted in a instant. Meron ding sumasali ng mga internet forums para lang mambwiset.

10.) Haterz- Ito yung kadalasang kinauuwian ng mga mabababaw. Ito yung tipo na sisisihin ang lahat ng ka gender ng nanakit sa iyo. Nagiging favorite motto ang: "Pare pareho lang yang mga lalaki/babae..mga manloloko".

Friday, June 15, 2007

Friday, June 08, 2007


Wednesday, June 06, 2007
myLot User Profile

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Don't Cry Joni

Dont Cry Joni

Jimmy please say you'll wait for me
I'll grow up some day you'll see
saving all my kisses just for you
signed with love forever true

Joni was the girl who lived next door
I've known her I guess 10 years or more
Joni wrote me a note one day
and this is what she had to say

Jimmy please say you'll wait for me
I'll grow up some day you'll see
saving all my kisses just for you
signed with love forever true

Slowly I read her note once more
then I went over to the house next door
her tear drops fell like rain that day
when I told Joni what I had to say

Joni, Joni please don't cry
you'll forget me by and by
you're just 15, I'm 22
and Joni I just can't wait for you

Soon I left our little home town
got me a job and tried to settle down
but these words kept haunting my memory
the words that Joni said to me

Jimmy please say you'll wait for me
I'll grow up some day you'll see
saving all my kisses just for you
signed with love forever true

I packed my clothes and I caught a plane
I had to see Joni, I had to explain
how my heart was filled with her memory
and asked my Joni if she'd marry me

I ran all the way to the house next door
but things weren't like they were before
my tear drops fell like rain that day
when I heard what Joni had to say

Jimmy, Jimmy please don't cry
you'll forget me by and by
it's been 5 years since you've been gone
Jimmy I married your best friend John.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

JEDA Puerto Galera Album

Puerto Galera Album @ image station
Album 1
Album 2
Album 3
Album 4
Album 5
Album 6


JEDA in Puerto Galera

last yr nun nag punt kami ng majayjay..

nagsawa ng ang mga hitad..

next level nman daw..

so Puerto Galera ang next target..

kaya eto.. naghahanda para sa aming next level outing

madaming pagsubok (naks)

una nag back-out c arlene (2 beses)

c emil sa laguna mangagaling at 3 lng kaming pupunta sa batangas port.

hay.. aberya aberya aberya..

ang lolo mo 2 hrs late..

d nya lang alam ang lungkot nmin kpag may daratung n by batch ay aalis.. kami miiwan..

kaya nun dumaitng sya.. dedma kami.. hmp..

pag datin nya eh dali-dali kming umalis..

ayus nman at direksyo skay n kami ng ferry

mga 1 hr din ang byahe gn ferry..

nkakabugnot at masakit s pwet ang matagal n pagkakaupo + nababasa pa kami dahil sa malapit kami s unahan..

nun malapit na ang puerto galera d ko na mahintay tumayo ako at tinatanaw ang bayabay..

white beach..

dali dali kmai bumababa.. buti n lng hulin kaming umakyat kaya una kami bumababa..

napawi n rin ang inis nmin s late comers n c emil..

hala hanap ng bahay.. mali pa yun unang na puntahan nmin..

ikot s kabila..

at sa pangalawa eh napuntahan na namin ang bahay..

simple. walang air-con, maayos na banyo, bintilador at may maayos na higaan..

2000 kahoy nga lng ang saingan pero okay lng.. kasya sa 5300 na may cable at air-con.. n n nmin kaialnga ang air-con at tv.. swimming ang pinunta nmin.. no need ; )

pagdating ayos ng gamit..

basta ng pag kain..

pahinga konti.. laboy n..

Thursday, May 10, 2007

No more Gentleman

im on my way to the office this morning

isang younster or teenager na masasabi ang sumakay kasabay ko.

naka formal ako kasi may forum kami sa shangri-la

meron naa isang nakasakay sa dulo kaya sa bangang gitna ako umupo..

ang hitag, makalas, walang kapangsanan, may kamay at lalake..

napbabaanot ng bayad saken..


lalake para magpaabot ng pabayad sa isang binibining tulad ko???

ang unang pumasok sa icip ko eh.. nasan na ang pag kagentlemen mo???

hindi ko sya pinancin..

tumingin ako sa ibang dereksyon at nag paypay..

napulitan syang umusog para mag abot ng kanyang bayad


indi naman sa nag astang masungit ako pero...

ungetleman talaga..

sabi ko nga d bale kung muka akong basura ng umaga na to.. mega formal ako at lalake sya..

sa aking pagbaba..

paglingon ko sa aking dadaan hinarang nya ang paa nya... ????

aba.. kaya ko yan.. hinakbangan ko ang paa nya sabay sabi

"kalalake mong tao, magpapapabot ka ng bayad sken.... gago!!"

sa tingin ko eh tinaas pa nya ang paa nya dahil, sumayad ang ang tuhod ko sa paa nya..

pag datign ko sa office dali-dali kong ikinuwento sa mga ka officemate ko..

at ang isang maganda ng kumento ay..

kasama na ng mga dinasour ang mga gentleman

how rude


napaka bakla

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

vacation galore

after ng mahabang panahon ng init.

puerto galera na sa fri..

. .

next level na nga kami..hehehe

sana masaya at walng KJ

at safe symepre.. ;)


English Movies You Should Never Translate to Tagalog

1. black hawk down - ibong maitim sa ibaba
2. dead man's chest - dodo ng patay
3. i know what you did last summer - uyy... aminin!
4. love, actually - sa totoo lang, pag-ibig
5. million dollar baby - 50 million pisong sanggol (it depends on the
exchange rate of the country)
6. the blair witch project - ang proyekto ng bruhang si blair
7. mary poppins - si mariang may putok
8. snakes on a plane - nag-ahasan sa ere
9. the postman always rings twice - ang kartero kapag dumutdot laging
dalawang beses
10. sum of all fears - takot mo, takot ko, takot nating lahat
11. swordfish - talakitok
12. pretty woman - ganda ng lola mo
13. robin hood, men in tights - si robin hood at ang mga felix bakat
14. four weddings and a funeral - kahit 4 na beses ka pang magpakasal,
ka rin
15. the good, the bad and the ugly - ako, ikaw, kayong lahat
16. harry potter and the sorcerer's stone - adik si harry, tumira ng shabu
17. click - isang pindot ka lang
18. brokeback mountain - may nawasak sa likod ng bundok ng tralala /bumigay
sa bundok
19. the day of the dead - ayaw tumayo (ng mga patay)
20. waterworld - basang-basa
21. there's something about mary - may kwan sa ano ni maria
22. employee of the month - ang sipsip
23. resident evil - ang biyenan
24. kill bill - kilitiin sa bilbil
25. the grudge - lintik lang ang walang ganti
26. nightmare before christmas - binangungot sa noche buena
27. never been kissed - pangit kasi
28. gone in 60 seconds - 1 round, tulog
29. the fast and the furious - ang bitin, galit
30. too fast, too furious - kapag sobrang bitin, sobrang galit
31. dude, where's my car - dong, anong level ulit tayo nag-park?
32. beauty and the beast - ang asawa ko at ang nanay nya
33. the lord of the rings - ang alahero