Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Who u???

Q: Anong apelyido ni Sisa?
A: Sisa Mistrit

Q: Anong apelyido ni Cedie?
A: Cedie Player

Q: Anong apleyido ni Beast?
A: Beast Kwit

Q: Anong first name ni Nemo?
A: Sarahgero Nemo

Q: Anong apelyido ni Punisher?
A: Punisher Ranno

Q: Anong apelyido ni Denzel?
A: Denzel Weta

Q: Anong apelyido ni Curly?
A: Curly Gazpi

Q: Ano last name ni Anchor?
A: Anchor Tis

Q: Ano last name ni Jewel?
A: Jewel Torre

Q: Ano last name ni Kula?
A: Kula Desma

Q: Ano surname ni Joseph?
A: Joseph Protgam

Q: Anong apelyido ni Aiko?
A: Aiko Zada

Q: Anong apelyido ni Christopher?
A: Christopher Minute

Q: Anong apelyido ni Palito?
A: Palito Lippi

Q: Anong first name ni Keno?
A: Krisa Keno

Q: Ano first name ni Janno?
A: Eduman Janno

Q: Ano first name ni Squall?
A: Piolopa Squall

Q: Ano first name ni Basilio?
A: Lacto Basilio

Q: Ano first name ni Pikachu?
A: Cherrypie Pikachu

Q: Ano first name ni Kenny G?
A: Johnep Kenny G

Q: ano ang first name ni Volta?
A: Johntra Volta

Q: Ano first name ni Diether?
A: Tirso Cruz Diether

Monday, December 03, 2007

Inday Jokes 102

“Attached herewith is a list of proposed acquisition in line with my proposal to upgrade your household facilities. I have already made initial survey of current market prices. Note however that prices could vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and demand which we also monitor on an hourly basis.”

- si Inday, nagpapaalam para mamalengke.

“The dwindling resource of hydrogen and oxygen present, coupled with the stabileamount of precise heat in the thermal environ of the vessel, resulted in the premature hydration of the ‘Oryza Sativa’, hence the calefaction factor was rendered lost and wandering when the algid formation came about.”

- sagot ni Inday kung bakit HILAW ang kanin.

“Ipomea aquatica has become the constant ingredient to this Filipino delicacy which is very helpful in the digestion during the peristaltic process of the food we intake. Due to the continuous rains and floods, the harvest of the said vegetables has lessen the production in the market.”

- banat pa ni Inday sa amin kung bakit walang kangkong sa nilutong sinigang.

“Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to one’s body. It is therefore essential that once in a while, we take a break from our usual routine to replenish our lost energy.”

- sagot ni Inday sa amo niya ng ayaw syang payagan mag day-off.

Inday in the gates of heaven: Inday: Are you fuckin’ sure
you will send me back to earth? But why?!
St. Peter: Oo! Langya ka! Mano-nose bleed lang yung
mga kaluluwa dito! Dun ka na uli magkalat sa

(at mabubuhay ulit si Inday.abangan ang kanyang
muling pagbabalik. And the saga continues.hehe.)

“Ang batayn ng pagging mhusaY n ksambhay ay hndi
msu2kat sa kkyahan sa 1 mhusay na pakkpgtalastasan gmit ang
pna2litang bnyaga. sa halip,ito’y msu2ri sa kkyahang
gampanan ang pangkalahatang gawain at
pgsi2lbi sa taong pngli2ngkuran.Wla sa salita
kundi sa gawa!”

- Manang - ang bgong katunggali ni Inday!

“Donya: bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!
Inday: Because I don’t want you to see me doing absolutely nothing….”

(Iba na talga si inday..)

“The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocation. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I LOVE YOU…. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition.”

-ganito nakipagbreak si inday kay dodong (driver ng kapit-bahay)

“POTATOES, when consumed in their raw state, are rapidly converted to glucose that raises insulin levels because of its simple sugar. When cooked in high temperature like French fries, they produce large amount of free radicals in the body causing aging, clotting, inflammation, cancer, weight gain. 1 French fry is worse than 1 cigarette.”

-inday (sagot kay sir kung bakit ‘di siya nagluto ng French fries.) Nutritionist din pla si inday! Hehe

“It’s absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because it sucks.”

-Inday kasama si Junior sa principal’s office. Tulala si principal!

Inday Jokes 101

Texter: Hi, can you be my textmate?

Inday: It depends if you can abide my heavy schedule. You see, I get up at 5am to cook for my bosses, then do my chores till after suppertime. Only then can I reply but I would be very tired already so I guess I won't be of much use as a textmate. Galing talaga ni Inday!

Drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar serve with milagrosa rice (red variety) and apricot sauce. Vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive oil. Lychee and peach salad with sour cream and cream cheese topped with lemon zests.

- Baon ni Junjun sa school na inihanda ni Inday. Hehehe. Tindi talaga ni Inday!

Jeepney driver: Miss, bakit kulang ang bayad mo? Sais lang ito, syete na ang pamasahe ngayon!

Inday: I am currently enrolled in a 2 year vocational course in an academic institution. Therefore, I am a student and by this fact I am entitled to have the inalienable right to avail of a certain discount on my jeepney fare. This is why I provided a payment less than what you expected because it is according to the law as stated in the fare matrix.

Jeepney driver: Aww!

Listening to the nonsense talk about someone's life is a pathetic way of entertainment. It doesn't contribute to the good of the society. I hate character assassinators!

- Reklamo ni Inday ng natsismis sya ng kapitbahay nila!

The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the amount of sodium chloride affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.

- Nageexplain si Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam.

Nurture others with positive, truthful words, not words that hurt. It doesn't cost anything to do so. But mean what you say and say what you mean. If you cannot be generous financially, at least be generous with your words

- Ang sagot ni Inday nang pinagmumura sya ng sir nya at hindi pinautang nito.

I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of work that you want. My creativity, productivity and work efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.

- Inday sa interview ng bago nyang amo.

Consul: Why do you want to go to USA?

Amo: To travel and visit relatives.

Consul: Denied!

Consul: And you?

Inday: For life is a never ending pursuit of material and social satisfaction that I tender my great intent of actualizing a transpacific journey to the land of milk and honey. An affable sanctuary where dreams become reality and a perfect habitat where souls like mine can reach the pedestal of freedom.

Consul: Lifetime Multiple Entry Visa, granted! Amo, hinimatay!

Overnight inaral ng amo ni Inday ang dictionary para may pangtapat na siya kay Inday. Amo: So, Inday, tell me, how do you accept the fact that you are just a mere chambermaid in this extravagant mansion?

Inday: Una camarera? Eres tan pathetic. La unica razon que inscribi tu casa es porque nada esta sucediendo dentro de tu casa cuasi-agradable. Quisiera traer una poca clase en este hogar pero conjeturo que no puedo porque esta casa es fea.

Amo: Nosebleed.

Amo: Mula ngayon, walang magsasalita ng English. Ang sinumang magpadugo ng ilong ko at sa mga anak ko, palalayasin sa pamamahay na ito! Klaro ba?

Inday: Ang mga namutawi sa inyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iiimbak sa sulok ng aking balintataw sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin, aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. Tatalikdan ang matayog at palalong banyagang wika manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasambitin ng aking sangkalooban. Toink!

I hate how coffee turns into an addiction and how it keeps you up all night. How it burns and makes your heart beat fast. Especially how it makes you crave for its rich and sweet promises of grains, milk and sugar. Moments later, it puts you into melancholic mood of coldness and before you realize, it has consumed you even before you have consumed it. Empty. Hollow. Bitter. Then again, you crave for another cup. Just like love.

- Inday, nag-eemote sa Starbucks.

Sir: Inday, wala ang Ma'am mo, dun tayo sa kwarto! Inday: What?! Are you nuts?! For your information sir, I intend to reserve my virginity for the person I truly love. If you think I'm an easy to get cheap slut, well, you're barking at the wrong tree. And will you please act like a professional because you're so eww! If I hear anymore filthy words coming from your mouth, I will not hesitate to take legal action! Sir: Leche, maarte ka!

Inday: Joke lang, Sir naman, tara na sa taas! :)

Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons, but because they just know that things will get worse if they will stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can hardly understand you for doing so.

- Comment ni Inday sa pag-alis ni Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.

Amo: Inday, bumili ka nga ng mga isda. Ay, oo nga pala, inglesera ka na ngayon. Would you please buy many fishes for this week's meals?

Inday: Judging by your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "fishes" although rarely used, connotes a plethora of different kinds of the said gilled aquatic creatures. But the more pressing questions before I go to the wet market would be: what type of fish? Fillet or not?


Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart that weakens the brain, causes the eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker!

- Inday, gumagawa ng blog nya sa Friendster! Taray talaga!

Ey guys! Sorry for the short notice, I'm leaving soon. I'm having my despedida party tomorrow, Saturday, 29th of September, 2007, at the hiphop VIP lounge, Embassy, The Fort. I just invited a few friends so your presence will be greatly appreciated. I will be at the VIP lounge by 10pm. I'm really looking forward to see you there because I want to spend my last days here in Manila with you guys! See yah!

- Text ni Inday sa mga friends nya kasi magbabakasyon sya sa province.

Man is the highest form of animal. He is made to be above all except God. So, no matter how high EAGLES soar, how FALCONS attack, how BULLDOGS bare, how agressive TIGERS are, how fast TAMARAWS run, they will always succumb to that one GREEN ARCHER, standing with his bow and arrow aimed to fire! What about the WARRIOR? The GREEN ARCHER just made a bull's eye! Animo La Salle!!!

- reflection ni Inday sa UAAP Finals. Lasallista kasi ang anak ng amo nya!

“I pity you for you have degraded your very own pride and dignity by resorting to this despicable behavior just for the sake of having something to feed your fetish appetite for wealth and i hope that one day you’ll be rational enough to realize that you should not use other humans as means in the attainment of your ends. As what the great philosopher Kant uttered, ‘treat a man as an end in himself’.”

- sagot ni Inday sa dugu-dugu gang na tumawag sa bahay ng amo nya.

Survey 101

1 . What do you think is the reason why
people lie?
‡ hiding somthing

2. Have u ever said, u'll never love again?
‡ i never, i just said that i hate

3. Is there anything bothering u right now?
‡ yes, may dec.shoppping listS,trainings to attend and malfunctioned dvd ..badtrip
4. Is there something you wanna let go of?
‡ owww (it hurts) i hope i can by tom. lol

5. Do the old songs u had in ur past really remind u of the memories?
‡ yes my LLS is "il never go" from the movie "one more chance" naka relate ang bruha lol

6. How important is "trust"?
‡ very important, if you had it you cant go wrong ;D

7. Do u believe in soulmates?
‡ yes

8. How do u learn to forget?
‡ it had to done freely, by time and by forgiving.. naks

9. Is crying a sign of weakness?
‡ no.. its a sign of accepting your fault or giving it in to release your pain.. naks ulet

10. Why do u answer surveys?
‡ because im late in my appointments (wrong venue, wrong date and wrong side of the bed kanina) lol

11. Do u always regret?
‡ i never, coz i believe ehemm.. that giving your best till the end will never make you feel any regrets. i thank you

12. What is ur current ringtone?
‡ say ok by vanessa Hudgens

13. Do u believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder?
‡ no absent makes you drop-out in the class. just like love ur absent, then your out..

14. Do u believe that u have a guardian angel?
‡ i dont if theres any i myt not fall for someones not worthy

15. Do u find ur ex's new gf/bf good
‡ i dont find them.. i tend to have my own world since we separated. hehehe

16. What will u do if u'r stuck in the elevator with someone u don't like?
‡ will it take hours? if not dedma

17. Have u ever wanted someone but u cant have him/her?
‡ often but thats life, you cant have all that u want, that is not necessity lol

18. Have u ever said 'i love u' but u lied?
‡ yes.. i hate it when i do that

19. Would u ever want to go back in the past?
‡ going back in the past, hmm i want to change my game plan ;D

20. Do u really wanna please everybody?
‡ i dont i just to please boys lol

21. Is waiting ever okay?
‡ if you had something to hold on too, y not. youll never know unless you try

22. Right now, where do u wanna be?
‡ s training ko, pakshet i have to attend that or else.. em dead meat :D

23. When is enough, enough?
‡ pag nagsawa kana, masasabi mo na yun

24. What are you so sick and tired of?
‡ pag paulit-ulit! amf! parang fungi! < naks love it!!

25. What made u smile today?
‡ mababit na guard kahit inikot ko ang circle at nagpunta sa 3 bldg at umakyat ng 4th flr at walang kwenta ang lakad. may naka smile at matulungin guard ng dept. of argiculture.. hi mga friends

26. Is looking good important?
‡ not really, but u must have the confidence first

27. Do u listen to love songs when ur down?

‡ LLS (last song syndroms) ko nga ay "ill never go" cant get that out of my head, its in my mp3, my cellphone my music player list and in my dreams.. lol OA

Thursday, November 29, 2007

One More Chance

Popoy and Basha have been together all their lives. Their love story started when they met as students in the university. Their families loved them, they shared friends, they eventually worked in the same firm and their life plans revolved around each other. There is no Popoy without a Basha and vice versa. They were certain that they will get married someday and build a home together. Everything seems perfect. At least that̢۪s what Popoy thinks. But all the planning and dreaming eventually took a toll on Basha. Past issues and current controversies suddenly become the main fare in what would have been a routine lunch date.

In their first major fight in over five years, Popoy and Basha begin their heart-rending struggle whether to hold on or to move on.

more chance web site


my review

simple sitwasyon na sa tingin ko eh nagyayari talaga sa mga magrelasyon. sabi nga nila eh pagnagtatagal na relasyon mag sawa factor na. masakit man sabihin na binigay mo na ang lahat still may kulang parin. ang pilikula na ito ay nagpapakita ng dalawang side ng pag hihiwalay di dahil di mo na mahal ang isang tao, pero dahil kailangan mong makilala ang sarili mo or magkanon ng sariling identity. mahirap ng paglayo para hanapin ang sarili. ngunit sa paglayo, malalaman mo kaya ang sakit na maiiwan ang taong nagmahal sa ng limang taon.

this film renewing ones selfs and letting your heart heal though time.

i give this fils 9 out of 10 stars

Thursday, October 11, 2007

love is my life

love life

magandang topic pag mag get together ang mga barkada..

share mo kung sino ang bago mong insiprasyon, tuksuhan at walang katapusang pakiligan. it was love that always make me lonely and down. im not saying na pagod na ako. just recent natapos na ang kabanata ng 2 kong papa.. hahah oo 2 yun isa bf ko at yun isa papa sa dubai.

BF si jayson aka butch 4 months na puno ng pagdududa walang malinaw na future dahil walang malinaw na simula. ni di ko alam kung pano ko i d describe ang nanyari. masaya ba ako? or walang napala. masaya naman napasaya nya ako in the sense of may nalaman akong nagagawa ko pl para sa punyetang pagmamahal. (bitter) oo bitter ako. kasi umamin sya na marami kami. at hinayaan kong gawin nya sken yun, alam ko nman na di sya faithful saken dahil nagawa nya na akong lokohin, pero pikit mata ko syang tinagap ulet.. tanga nho. in the end, nalaman ko na tanga akong lumaro sa pagibig, sobrang mapagbigay at iniicip lagi ang kaligayan ng parter ko lahit masaktan ako. wala akong reserbang pagmamahal sa sarili ko para umalis sa magulong sitwasyon na ikakapahamak ko pa (naks ang lalim)

si butch ang isang malinaw na halimbawa ng playboy at happy go lucky na tao. gwapo at maboka, mahuhulog ka talaga sa kanya kahit lalake ka..hahaha pero pag nasa paligid ka na nya. malalaman mo na effortless syang partner, walang sweet nothings at maypagka user. lahat yun alam ko pero hinayaan ko lang.. nabulag sa ngiti sabi nga nya eh bf na may dimples.

sa aming paghihiwalay nalaman ko pa na may nabuntis pa daw sya.huh true kaya iyon.. all the while i was being cheated dumped and use..kawawa

now. im letting this feeling go.. di ko pipilitin mawala yun feeling sana parang bula na lng ito na kusang pumutok at maglaho sa hangin..hmm

i wont wish him bad.. may karma naman :D

next recshaun taga dubai na meet by chat. dnaging parang kami kasi we txted chated nad call pa nga.. ok pero sa gitna ng magandang samahan umamin ang hitad na may asawa na sya.. sayang malaking isda..hahaha

oh hayun pero umiwas na ako sa kanya.. pero sige parin minsan ang chat namin.. kung baga eh kawawa naman eh nalulungkot ang tao tapos na loko pa ng company..

at heto nag sabi na kalimutan na dawa kasi mahal na mahal nya daw ang asawa nya.. huh

kala ko ba hiwalay na sila. at biglang mag linyang wag na tayong magusap baket may ganun. eh indi ko naman sya kinakausap eh.. kesyo may mga mababaw pang lintanya ang lolo.

hay kung tapos na tapos na wag ng magpakawala ng masasakit na salita. after all na aliw naman kita..

ok fine end ka rin reschaun.

minsan aniisip ko talaga na amsarap maging lalake. madaming perks, madaming babae na uto-uto, at masarap mag happy go lucky na buhay. kung naginglalake kaya ako. manbabae din ako o manloloko.

parang ..hahhaahaha

ha ewan... cige na mga babae na lang ako :D

"bless thy heart who loves truely, and bless thy men that faithfully see one love only"

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Joke Time - Part 10

A man wanted to buy bra for his wife but doesn't know the size.
SALESGIRL: " Is it as big as papaya ? "
MAN: " No "
SALESGIRL : " an apple "
MAN: " No "
SALESGIRL : " egg ? "
MAN: " YES , but fried ! "


GIRL 1 : Halata na tiyan mo, bakit di pa kayo magpakasal ng BF mo?
GIRL 2 : Ayaw ng pamilya niya eh !
GIRL 1 : Sino may ayaw, tatay o nanay niya ?
GIRL 2 : yung misis niya !


Q : Ano ang pagkakaiba ng SANITARY NAPKIN sa BRA ?
A : Sa Sanitary napkin parang wala kahit meron, samantalang
sa bra parang meron kahit wala !


MAN 1 : Kinakausap mo ba misis mo habang nakikipag-sex ka ?
MAN 2 : Hindi ah ! pinapatay ko nga celfon ko para di niya ako


Tarzan & animals went to the river to take a bath.
When Tarzan took off his clothes, all animals laughed
When Tarzan asked " WHY ? "
Animals said : " Ur tail is in front! "

Joke Time - Part 9.4

WIFEY: "Love, may mga friends ako na nagpa-enhance ng boobs. Okey lang ba sayo kung magpadagdag din ako?
HUBBY: "Ewan ko, parang hindi yata bagay sa'yo ang tatlong suso!!!"

Mental patient is singing while lying in his hospital bed. After a song, he turns face down to sing again.
NURSE: Bakit ka bumaliktad?
PATIENT: Side B na kasi eh.

MARE to KUMARE: How do you make your husband punctual in coming home from work?
KUMARE: Simple... I tell him sex will start at exactly 9 pm, with or without him!!!

ANAK: 'Nay, sabi ng titser ko ang ina ay ILAW NG TAHANAN. Eh ano naman po ang tawag sa ama?
INA: (aburido) Sabihin mo sa ma'am mo, ang AMA ang taga-PUNDI NG ILAW!!!

Tatay: Anak, ibili mo nga ako ng softdrink
Anak: Coke o Pepsi?
Tatay: Coke
Anak: Diet o Regular?
Tatay: regular
Anak: Bote o in can?
Tatay: Bote
Anak: 8 oz o litro?
Tatay: Puneta, tubig na nga lang.
Anak: Mineral o distilled?
Tatay: Mineral.
Anak: Malamig o hindi?
Tatay: Hahampasin na kita ng walis eh!
Anak: Tambo o tingting?
Tatay: Hayop ka!
Anak: Baka o kambing?

Joke Time - Part 9.3

the truth behind the song
and hu really sang it..

BULAG:close your eyes

PILAY:give me ur hand darling

BINGI:do u hear my heart beating?

BOBO:do u understand?

MANHID:do u feel tha same?

DUKHA:am i only dreaming?

BUMBERO:is this burning?an eternal flame!

PIPI:say my name

BALIW:sunshine through the rain

KAWAWA:my whole life,so lonely

INAPI:will come & ease the pain

MANYAK:i don't wanna lose this felling

Joke Time - Part 9.2

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down.
The waiter, who is also the owner,
walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
Im sorry, Sir, but I am blind and cant read the menu.
Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer,
I'll smell it and order from there.
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him.

The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. Ah, yes, that's what Ill have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes.

Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owners wife and he tells her what had just happened.

The blind man eats his meal and leaves.

Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again.
Sir, remember me? Im the blind man.
Im sorry, I didnt recognize you. Ill go get you a dirty fork.
The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.

After another deep breath, the blind man says, That smells great; Ill take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli.

Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in hes going to test him.
The blind man eats and leaves.

He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen.
He tells his wife, Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man.

Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back.
As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.

Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you.

The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, Hey, I didnt know that Mary worked here?

Joke Time - Part 9.1

matagal nang gumugulo sa isipan ko ang mga tanong na ito:

1. does jennifer love hewitt?

2. where did vincent van gogh?

3. is marvin gaye?

4. why is norman black?

5. where did sandara park?

6. is chow yun fat?

7. what did henry sy?

8. why is alonzo mourning?

9. is lucio tan?

10. when will orlando bloom?

11. what did scooby doo?

12. is the birthstone of kevin garnet?

13. what is victoria's secret?


14. kapag ba namili si manny pacquiao?

Joke Time - Part 9

Wikang French nmn tayo
Q. Ano ang bulaklak sa french?
A. E di "Le Fleu".
Q. Ano naman ang tawag back?
A. E di Le Kod.
Q. Ano naman ang tawag sa neck?
A. E di Le Eg.
Q. Ano naman ang tawag sa dumi sa katawan?
A. E di Le Bag.
Q. Ano naman ang tawag sa taong mahilig sa sex?
A. E di Le Bog.
Q. Ano nama ang tawag sa baboy?
A. E di Le Chon.
Q. Ano naman ang tawag sa taong mahilig sa lagay?
A. E di Les Pu.


First ba ako?
Boy: First ba ako sayo??
Girl: OO naman wala nang iba pa...
Boy: Really??
Girl: ( Galit ) Bakit ba lahat kayong mga lalake ask the same question?? Ok na!! Ok na!! Pang 58 ka!!!!


Ang sumpa
Horse: Mahal na prinsesa,akoy dating prinsipe na isinumpa.
Prinsesa: Ha!! Pag ba hinalikan kita babalik ka sa pagiging prinsipe??
Horse: Malakas ang sumpa,kailangan chupa...


LOLA : Paraaaa!!!
DRIVER : Bakit po, lola?
LOLA : I-ihi ako!
DRIVER : Sabi nyo i-ihi lang kayo e ba't umutot pa kayo?
LOLA : Tutoy, pag may ulan, may kulog!!!!



Joke Time - Part 8


ikinuwento ni porky ang panaginip nya nung nakaraan kay choppy...

porky: alam mo pre nanaginip ako nung nakaraan tsk tsk tsk muntik ng magkalaboan!

choppy:bakit ano bang nangyari?

porky:kasi ganito kasi yun..naglalakad daw ako sa tabing dagat..

choppy:tapos anong nangyari...?

porky:sa pag lalakad ko may nasipa akong isang bote..!


porky: biglang may lumabas na jinny......


porky: oo jinny..

choppy:tapos anong nangyari?

porky:sabi ng jinny SALAMAT PANGINOON AKO IYONG PINALAYA BILANG GANTI MAG BIGAY KA NG ISANG KAHILINGAN AT AGAD AGAD KO ITONG TUTUPARIN...(napaisip si porky) sige! ang hiling ko gawin mo akong maliit na bagay..para mapagitan ako ng dalawang hita ni christine hermosa!!

choppy: wowwwwwwwwww christine hermosa pa ha!! ohh anong ginawa sa iyo ng jinny...?

porky:kumumpas agad ang jinny...! MATUTUPAD ANG IYONG KAHILINGAN!!! ginawa nya akong sanitary nupkin ginawa nya akong MODES...

choppy: ehh di napagitan ka ng dalawang hita ni christine hermosa..??

porky: pre hindi rin ehh.......

choppy: bakit????

porky: whisper gamit nya ehh!!

choppy:buwwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiissssssiii iiiiiiiiiittttt!!


Ur Invited 2 Watch d Concert of JAYA, KUH, LINDSAY, MONIQUE, aT SHARON...





OLD MAID : Hello police, a sex maniac has just broken into my house and he's raping me right now. CAN YOU COME TOMORROW MORNING AND ARREST HIM?


Kuto1: Kuto2 this is kuto1 over....
Kuto2: Yes kuto1, naririnig kita!!!
Kuto1: Kuto2 dito ako ngayon sa PUBIC HAIR ni Ma'am nagtatago OVER!!!
Kuto2: Ok received!!! Kuto1 dito na ko sa Bigote ni Sir...Approaching


Miss World Contestant
3rd runner-up Miss Russia, Yarina Gustopa,
2nd runner-up Miss Hawaii, Dedeco Laylayna.
1st runner-up Miss Japan, Susumo Sinusuko.
The winner is Miss Korea, Fukiko Makuto.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Joke Time - Part 7

Usapang mag-ama
Ama: Ngayong tapos ka na ng high school, ano ang
kukunin mo sa kolehiyo?
Anak: Law po.
Ama: Ano?! Tapos ka na ng HIGH, babalik ka pa sa LOW?!


Scientific names
CUTE - ahkoyan.
TALENTED - ahkophayan.
ROMANTIC - akhopharyn-yan.
LOVABLE - akhoulityan.
ABNORMAL - ahikawnahyahn!


Sino ang unang tao sa mundo
Sabi ng mga HUDYO, "kami".
Bakit? Dahil kami ang nagpako sa Diyos.
Sabi ng mga INTSIK, "kami".
Bakit? Kanino kayo bili pako abel?

Dont Stop
MOM: Didn't I tell you that if a guy touches your
boobs say DON'T? And if he touches your @#%$ say STOP!
GIRL: Right, but he touched both at the same
time so I said, DON'T STOP!


Ganda spelling
Bagong salta sa America, yung Pinoy ay gustong mag-long distance sa Pilipinas kaya dinayal yung "0 for Operator".
Operator: AT&T. How may I help you?
Pinoy: Heyloow. Ay wud like to long distans da Pilipins, plis.
Operator: Name of the party you're calling?
Pinoy: Aybegyurpardon? Can you repit agen plis?
Operator: What is the name of the person you are calling?
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu and sori. Da name of my calling is Elpidio Abanquel. Sori and tenkyu.
Operator: Please spell out the name of the person you're calling phonetically.
Pinoy: Yes, tenkyu. What is foneticali?
Operator: Please spell out the letters comprising the name a letter at a time and citing a word for each letter.
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu. Da name of Elpidio Abanquel is Elpidio Abanquel. I will spell his name foneticali. Elpidio: E as in Elpidio, L as in lpidio, p as in pidio, i as in idio, d as in dio, i as in io and o as in o.
Operator: Sir, can you please use English words.
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu. Abanquel: A as in Airport, B as in Because, A as in Airport agen, N as in... Enemy, Q as in... Cuba, U as in... Europe, E as in... Important and L as in... Elephant.

Joke Time - Part 6

Part 6

Anak(lalake po ito):Tay pinagalitan ako ng teacher ko!
Tatay: Bakit anak?
Anak:Hinalikan ko pa ang Classmate ko
tatay:itong anak ko, manag-mana sa akin.Hehehe eh, masarap din ba?
Anak:Opo, pogi po sya


Tanggalin ang S
ANAK : Tays ! kakains nas tayos !
TATAY : Hoy ! Tigilan mo yang kalalagay mo ng ' S '
sa mga sinasabi mo ha ! Ano ba ang ulam ?


SweetHearts making love ..
GF : " Luv, alam mo ikaw lang ang naikama ko "
BF : Sweet mo naman luv ! GF : Oo, kasi, yung iba, sa
CR, Sala, Kusina at kung saan saan pa !


Without U
How can I spell s_ccess w/o " U " ? or c_te? or
h_mble? or f_ck , s_cker, p_ki ? haaay. p_tang ina.
What will I do w/o " U " !


Ulam namen
JOE : Kumusta bakasyon boy ?
BOY : Masama, sabado pilay manok ni tyong, ulam namin
tinola..linggo pilay baboy, ulam namin litson, kanina
napilay si tyong, ulam namin hindi ko inalam, kain
ako sa labas


Mga kung ano-ano sakit
Cute- acotosis
Gwapo- acoparentosis
Pogi- aconanamantosis
Magandang lalake- acouletosis
Panget- icawnatosis


I saw a big Pokemon stuff toy in Toy Kingdom.
Bibilhin ko sana kaso tinarayan ako ng saleslady.
Ewan ko ba, sabi ko lang naman "Miss, patingin ng
Pokemong malaki."


Pwede na magbra?
Anak: 'Nay, puede na ba akong magbra? Nay, kinse na
po ako, puede na ba?
Ina : Hoy! Joselito! tigilan mo nga ako!!!!


Pwede uminom ng Baygon
Man: Doc, help me uminom ako ng baygon
Doc: Bakit, magsusuicide ka?
Man: Hindi. Nakalunok kasi ako ng buhay na ipis.
Doc: Tanga! Dapat kumain ka na lang ng tsinelas.


9 IN = "OH **** ANG SAKIT!"
5 IN = "MMMMMM.....OK"
4 IN = "DIIN MO PA'"

Joke Time - Part 5

For Sale - Murang-mura

1) Eyedrop (3 pesos lang) gamot sa mata w/ 2 variants: pwedeng de-roll-on o kaya e de-spray.

2) Flashlight (5 pesos lang), solar-powered

3) Swatch watch (10 pesos lang), kaya lang ang batterya e batterya ng kotse.

4) Melodramatic Fool's Dictionary (5 pesos lang), mga 500 pages pero di naka-arrange alphabetically.

5) Computer Keyboard (20 pesos lang) brand new, 2 klase: japanese or arabic characters yung nakalagay.

6)Electric Fan (10 pesos lang), ang elesi ay elesi ng helicopter.

7) Pison (20 pesos lang), de pidal nga lang

Cool Kutsilyo (10 pesos lang), napakatalim lalo na ung hawakan

9) Kalan (15 pesos lang), sa pihitan lumalabas ung apoy

10) Electric Fan uli (10 pesos din), umiikot ung katawan

11) Rolex na wristwatch (25 pesos), daming diamond isa nga lang ang kamay

12) Colored TV (15 pesos lang), kulay ng palabas itim at puti.

13) TV ulit (15 pesos lang), may grado ang screen.

14) Plantsa (10 pesos) Ung handle ang umiinit

15) Cellfone (20 php) Baterya ng sasakyan ang baterya

16) WAllClock (10) Sa harapan ang sabitan

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Joke Time - part 4

Sino idol mo?
Juan:Pare cno idol mo?
Pedro: si Arnold Schwarzenegger
Juan: cge nga spell Schwarzenegger
Pedro: hindi, joke lang yun, Jet Li talga idol ko


Bitoy: D agul, bat ang pandak mo?
Dagul:kasi nga bata plang ako ulila na ko
Bitoy: Anong kaugnayan nun sa paglaki mo
Dagul:Sira pala ulo mo eh! Wala ngang nagpalaki sakin



Teacher:Ciara, ano ang favorite mong color?
Ciara:Fuchsia po ma'am
Teacher:Sige nga spell fuchsia
Ciara:Hindi ma'am, Red po tlga fave color ko, R-E-D!



(a lizard fell on a table)
Genius:Oh! reptila scincidae
Kikay:Eew! Lizard!
Astig: ****!Butiki!
Mahirap:Pare! ULAM!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Joke Time - Part3.4

Pinoy Diksyonaryo( iba naman to)

Abuloy --- bayad sa nahigop na kape at nanguyang biskwit sa nilamayang sakla.
Akala ---- alam na alam daw.
Aginaldo - inaasahan na makukuha sa araw ng Pasko na mas okay sana kung pera na lang.
Ama ------ pamilyadong gustong maging binata
Bakasyon - sandaliang pahinga sa trabahong hingal lang ang pahinga.
Bakit ---- tanong na laging mahirap masagot.
Bakya ---- tsinelas na may takong.
Baga ----- lutuan ng mga hindi makabili ng microwave.
Bagoong -- masarap na ulam ng mga walang maiulam.
Baldado -- hindi mamamatay-matay na mukhang hindi na mabubuhay.
Bale ----- suweldong inutang.
Binata ------ lalaking gustong maging ama
Biyenan ------ anay ng tahanan
Kaaway --- ikli ng 'kaibigan na Inayawan.'
Kababata - dating gelpren na may ibang boypren.
Kabag ---- dighay at utot na naghalo sa tiyan.
Kabayo --- hayop na sinasakyan Ng kalesa.
Kabit ------ asawang nakatira sa iba
Kalbo ---- gupit ng buhok na korteng itlog.
Dalaga --------- babaeng gustong maging ina.
Dalaginding - dalagang hindi pa nagsusuot ng bra.
Dighay ------- Utot na lumabas sa bunganga.
Dilim ---- liwanag na maitim.
E -------- ireng paseksi.
Gahasa --- romansang walang ligawan.
Ginang --- asawa ni ginoo na mukha nang tsimay.
Ginoo ---- asawa ni ginang na may inaasawang iba.
Gipit ---- kalagayan ng tao na suki na ng sanglaan.
Ha ------- sagot ng nagbibingi-bingihan.
Halakhak - tawang bukang-buka ang ngala-ngala.
Handaan -- magdamagan na Palakihan ng tiyan.
Handog --- bigay na laging may kapalit.
Hipo ----- haplos na may malisya.
Hudas ---- tapat na manloloko.
Ibon ----- hayop na lumalangoy sa Hangin.
Imposible - pagtaas ng unano.
Ina -------- pamilyadang gustong maging dalaga.
Insulto --- walang hiyang biro.
Isda ------ hayop na hindi Nalulunod.
Itlog ------- pagkaing amoy utot
Ita ------- negrong Pinoy.
La -------- ikli ng 'lalalalala' sa kinakantang hindi maalala.
Lalawigan - syudad ng kahirapan.
Langaw ---- kulisap na bangung-bango sa amoy ng basura.
Ma -------- tawag sa gelpren na mukhang nanay na.
Malusog --- hitsura ng tumatabang balat.
Mama ------ tawag sa sosyal na ina.
Mano ------ kaugaliang Pinoy na nakapupudpod ng noo.... at bulsa.
Mantika --- katas ng piniritong taba.
Mayabang -------- abusadong tanga.
Maybahay -- dominanteng utusan sa bahay.
Nanay ---- Ilaw ng tahanan
Nakaw ----- hiram ng walang paalam
Naku ------ ikli ng 'nanay ko, nanay na ako.'
Nitso ----- bahay ng mga patay.
Nobya ----- gelpren na laking probinsya.
Ngalngal -- iyak ng walang ipen.
Ngisi ----- tawang tulo-laway.
Ngiti ----- tawang labas ipen.
Paa ------- bahagi ng katawan na amoy tuta.
Paaralan -- dito itinuturo kung ano, alin o sino ang mapipiling bobo.
Panata ---- dasal na nakatataba ng tuhod.
Regla ----- masungit na panahon ng pagkababae.
Sabon ----- mabangong bagay na ipinapahid sa mabahong katawan.
Sakristan - utusan ng pari.
Sampal ---- haplos na nakatitigas ng mukha.
Ta -------- ikli ng 'tita' o lalaking may bra.
Tamad ----- taong hindi napapagod sa pahinga.
Tatay ----- haligi ng tahanan
Utot-------- Dighay na lumabas sa puwit
Ulol -------- sobrang matalino
Wala ------- salitang tagalog na minana ng mga ingles.
Yaya -------- alaga ng ama ng inaalagaang bata.

Joke Time - Part3.3

Pinoy Diksyunaryo

dedicated - pinatay ang pusa

deduct - ang pato

defeat - ang paa

defense - ang bakod

defer - ang balahibo

deflate - ang plato

defrag - ang palaka

delusion - e di maluwag

depends - (see defense)

deposit - ang gripo

depress - nagkasal sa persuading (see persuading)

detail - ang buntot

detest - ang eksamen

devalue - 'yon ang susunod sa letrang v

devastation - dun sasakay ng bus

devote - ang boto

dilemna - Gabi na

effort - dun nagla-land yung efflane

forums - apat na kuwarto

it depends - kainin mo ang bakod

july - nagsinungaling ka ba?

melt - 'yun ang sinusuot sa mewang?

statue - ikaw ba 'yan?

protestant - tindahan ng prutas

predicate - pakawalan mo ang pusa

thesis - sakit

Joke Time - Part 3.2

name of chinese people born in the philippines

1.born during the night - ANDY LIM
2.born blind - KENNETH SY
3.born being swindled - LINO CO
4.born while cooking - NILO TOH
5.born as the 10th child- SAM PO
6.born while being courted- LILY GAW
7.born fat- BOB UY
8.born without leg- KENT GO
9.born little- KATHY TING
10.born with a vast estate- LOT TE
11.born different- EVA YAN
12.born uniqe- ALIEN SIA
13.born while counterfeiting- FAYE KING
14.born on sunday- LING GO
15.born with picture- LARA WAN
16.born with sweet- KEN DY
17.born undefined- SAM TING
18.born while taking a bath- LILY GO
19.born while buying- BILL LI
20.born secretly- TINA GO