Monday, December 03, 2007

Inday Jokes 102

“Attached herewith is a list of proposed acquisition in line with my proposal to upgrade your household facilities. I have already made initial survey of current market prices. Note however that prices could vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and demand which we also monitor on an hourly basis.”

- si Inday, nagpapaalam para mamalengke.

“The dwindling resource of hydrogen and oxygen present, coupled with the stabileamount of precise heat in the thermal environ of the vessel, resulted in the premature hydration of the ‘Oryza Sativa’, hence the calefaction factor was rendered lost and wandering when the algid formation came about.”

- sagot ni Inday kung bakit HILAW ang kanin.

“Ipomea aquatica has become the constant ingredient to this Filipino delicacy which is very helpful in the digestion during the peristaltic process of the food we intake. Due to the continuous rains and floods, the harvest of the said vegetables has lessen the production in the market.”

- banat pa ni Inday sa amin kung bakit walang kangkong sa nilutong sinigang.

“Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to one’s body. It is therefore essential that once in a while, we take a break from our usual routine to replenish our lost energy.”

- sagot ni Inday sa amo niya ng ayaw syang payagan mag day-off.

Inday in the gates of heaven: Inday: Are you fuckin’ sure
you will send me back to earth? But why?!
St. Peter: Oo! Langya ka! Mano-nose bleed lang yung
mga kaluluwa dito! Dun ka na uli magkalat sa

(at mabubuhay ulit si Inday.abangan ang kanyang
muling pagbabalik. And the saga continues.hehe.)

“Ang batayn ng pagging mhusaY n ksambhay ay hndi
msu2kat sa kkyahan sa 1 mhusay na pakkpgtalastasan gmit ang
pna2litang bnyaga. sa halip,ito’y msu2ri sa kkyahang
gampanan ang pangkalahatang gawain at
pgsi2lbi sa taong pngli2ngkuran.Wla sa salita
kundi sa gawa!”

- Manang - ang bgong katunggali ni Inday!

“Donya: bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!
Inday: Because I don’t want you to see me doing absolutely nothing….”

(Iba na talga si inday..)

“The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocation. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I LOVE YOU…. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition.”

-ganito nakipagbreak si inday kay dodong (driver ng kapit-bahay)

“POTATOES, when consumed in their raw state, are rapidly converted to glucose that raises insulin levels because of its simple sugar. When cooked in high temperature like French fries, they produce large amount of free radicals in the body causing aging, clotting, inflammation, cancer, weight gain. 1 French fry is worse than 1 cigarette.”

-inday (sagot kay sir kung bakit ‘di siya nagluto ng French fries.) Nutritionist din pla si inday! Hehe

“It’s absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because it sucks.”

-Inday kasama si Junior sa principal’s office. Tulala si principal!

Inday Jokes 101

Texter: Hi, can you be my textmate?

Inday: It depends if you can abide my heavy schedule. You see, I get up at 5am to cook for my bosses, then do my chores till after suppertime. Only then can I reply but I would be very tired already so I guess I won't be of much use as a textmate. Galing talaga ni Inday!

Drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar serve with milagrosa rice (red variety) and apricot sauce. Vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive oil. Lychee and peach salad with sour cream and cream cheese topped with lemon zests.

- Baon ni Junjun sa school na inihanda ni Inday. Hehehe. Tindi talaga ni Inday!

Jeepney driver: Miss, bakit kulang ang bayad mo? Sais lang ito, syete na ang pamasahe ngayon!

Inday: I am currently enrolled in a 2 year vocational course in an academic institution. Therefore, I am a student and by this fact I am entitled to have the inalienable right to avail of a certain discount on my jeepney fare. This is why I provided a payment less than what you expected because it is according to the law as stated in the fare matrix.

Jeepney driver: Aww!

Listening to the nonsense talk about someone's life is a pathetic way of entertainment. It doesn't contribute to the good of the society. I hate character assassinators!

- Reklamo ni Inday ng natsismis sya ng kapitbahay nila!

The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the amount of sodium chloride affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.

- Nageexplain si Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam.

Nurture others with positive, truthful words, not words that hurt. It doesn't cost anything to do so. But mean what you say and say what you mean. If you cannot be generous financially, at least be generous with your words

- Ang sagot ni Inday nang pinagmumura sya ng sir nya at hindi pinautang nito.

I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of work that you want. My creativity, productivity and work efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.

- Inday sa interview ng bago nyang amo.

Consul: Why do you want to go to USA?

Amo: To travel and visit relatives.

Consul: Denied!

Consul: And you?

Inday: For life is a never ending pursuit of material and social satisfaction that I tender my great intent of actualizing a transpacific journey to the land of milk and honey. An affable sanctuary where dreams become reality and a perfect habitat where souls like mine can reach the pedestal of freedom.

Consul: Lifetime Multiple Entry Visa, granted! Amo, hinimatay!

Overnight inaral ng amo ni Inday ang dictionary para may pangtapat na siya kay Inday. Amo: So, Inday, tell me, how do you accept the fact that you are just a mere chambermaid in this extravagant mansion?

Inday: Una camarera? Eres tan pathetic. La unica razon que inscribi tu casa es porque nada esta sucediendo dentro de tu casa cuasi-agradable. Quisiera traer una poca clase en este hogar pero conjeturo que no puedo porque esta casa es fea.

Amo: Nosebleed.

Amo: Mula ngayon, walang magsasalita ng English. Ang sinumang magpadugo ng ilong ko at sa mga anak ko, palalayasin sa pamamahay na ito! Klaro ba?

Inday: Ang mga namutawi sa inyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iiimbak sa sulok ng aking balintataw sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin, aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. Tatalikdan ang matayog at palalong banyagang wika manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasambitin ng aking sangkalooban. Toink!

I hate how coffee turns into an addiction and how it keeps you up all night. How it burns and makes your heart beat fast. Especially how it makes you crave for its rich and sweet promises of grains, milk and sugar. Moments later, it puts you into melancholic mood of coldness and before you realize, it has consumed you even before you have consumed it. Empty. Hollow. Bitter. Then again, you crave for another cup. Just like love.

- Inday, nag-eemote sa Starbucks.

Sir: Inday, wala ang Ma'am mo, dun tayo sa kwarto! Inday: What?! Are you nuts?! For your information sir, I intend to reserve my virginity for the person I truly love. If you think I'm an easy to get cheap slut, well, you're barking at the wrong tree. And will you please act like a professional because you're so eww! If I hear anymore filthy words coming from your mouth, I will not hesitate to take legal action! Sir: Leche, maarte ka!

Inday: Joke lang, Sir naman, tara na sa taas! :)

Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons, but because they just know that things will get worse if they will stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can hardly understand you for doing so.

- Comment ni Inday sa pag-alis ni Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.

Amo: Inday, bumili ka nga ng mga isda. Ay, oo nga pala, inglesera ka na ngayon. Would you please buy many fishes for this week's meals?

Inday: Judging by your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "fishes" although rarely used, connotes a plethora of different kinds of the said gilled aquatic creatures. But the more pressing questions before I go to the wet market would be: what type of fish? Fillet or not?


Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart that weakens the brain, causes the eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker!

- Inday, gumagawa ng blog nya sa Friendster! Taray talaga!

Ey guys! Sorry for the short notice, I'm leaving soon. I'm having my despedida party tomorrow, Saturday, 29th of September, 2007, at the hiphop VIP lounge, Embassy, The Fort. I just invited a few friends so your presence will be greatly appreciated. I will be at the VIP lounge by 10pm. I'm really looking forward to see you there because I want to spend my last days here in Manila with you guys! See yah!

- Text ni Inday sa mga friends nya kasi magbabakasyon sya sa province.

Man is the highest form of animal. He is made to be above all except God. So, no matter how high EAGLES soar, how FALCONS attack, how BULLDOGS bare, how agressive TIGERS are, how fast TAMARAWS run, they will always succumb to that one GREEN ARCHER, standing with his bow and arrow aimed to fire! What about the WARRIOR? The GREEN ARCHER just made a bull's eye! Animo La Salle!!!

- reflection ni Inday sa UAAP Finals. Lasallista kasi ang anak ng amo nya!

“I pity you for you have degraded your very own pride and dignity by resorting to this despicable behavior just for the sake of having something to feed your fetish appetite for wealth and i hope that one day you’ll be rational enough to realize that you should not use other humans as means in the attainment of your ends. As what the great philosopher Kant uttered, ‘treat a man as an end in himself’.”

- sagot ni Inday sa dugu-dugu gang na tumawag sa bahay ng amo nya.

Survey 101

1 . What do you think is the reason why
people lie?
‡ hiding somthing

2. Have u ever said, u'll never love again?
‡ i never, i just said that i hate

3. Is there anything bothering u right now?
‡ yes, may dec.shoppping listS,trainings to attend and malfunctioned dvd ..badtrip
4. Is there something you wanna let go of?
‡ owww (it hurts) i hope i can by tom. lol

5. Do the old songs u had in ur past really remind u of the memories?
‡ yes my LLS is "il never go" from the movie "one more chance" naka relate ang bruha lol

6. How important is "trust"?
‡ very important, if you had it you cant go wrong ;D

7. Do u believe in soulmates?
‡ yes

8. How do u learn to forget?
‡ it had to done freely, by time and by forgiving.. naks

9. Is crying a sign of weakness?
‡ no.. its a sign of accepting your fault or giving it in to release your pain.. naks ulet

10. Why do u answer surveys?
‡ because im late in my appointments (wrong venue, wrong date and wrong side of the bed kanina) lol

11. Do u always regret?
‡ i never, coz i believe ehemm.. that giving your best till the end will never make you feel any regrets. i thank you

12. What is ur current ringtone?
‡ say ok by vanessa Hudgens

13. Do u believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder?
‡ no absent makes you drop-out in the class. just like love ur absent, then your out..

14. Do u believe that u have a guardian angel?
‡ i dont if theres any i myt not fall for someones not worthy

15. Do u find ur ex's new gf/bf good
‡ i dont find them.. i tend to have my own world since we separated. hehehe

16. What will u do if u'r stuck in the elevator with someone u don't like?
‡ will it take hours? if not dedma

17. Have u ever wanted someone but u cant have him/her?
‡ often but thats life, you cant have all that u want, that is not necessity lol

18. Have u ever said 'i love u' but u lied?
‡ yes.. i hate it when i do that

19. Would u ever want to go back in the past?
‡ going back in the past, hmm i want to change my game plan ;D

20. Do u really wanna please everybody?
‡ i dont i just to please boys lol

21. Is waiting ever okay?
‡ if you had something to hold on too, y not. youll never know unless you try

22. Right now, where do u wanna be?
‡ s training ko, pakshet i have to attend that or else.. em dead meat :D

23. When is enough, enough?
‡ pag nagsawa kana, masasabi mo na yun

24. What are you so sick and tired of?
‡ pag paulit-ulit! amf! parang fungi! < naks love it!!

25. What made u smile today?
‡ mababit na guard kahit inikot ko ang circle at nagpunta sa 3 bldg at umakyat ng 4th flr at walang kwenta ang lakad. may naka smile at matulungin guard ng dept. of argiculture.. hi mga friends

26. Is looking good important?
‡ not really, but u must have the confidence first

27. Do u listen to love songs when ur down?

‡ LLS (last song syndroms) ko nga ay "ill never go" cant get that out of my head, its in my mp3, my cellphone my music player list and in my dreams.. lol OA