alone

i txted almost all the people i can talk to..

wala.. walang makausap

walang makaramay sa naramdaman ko ngayon..

i feel so alone

i was left with empty hand...

wrong moves

wrong person

and a broken heart.

Heaven's Phone Book

Does Heaven have a phone number?

Mommy went to Heaven,

but I need her here today,

My tummy hurts and I fell down,

I need her right away,

I really need your help, operater

to find her in this book?

Is heaven in the yellow part,

I don't know where to look.

I think my daddy needs her too,

at night I hear him cry.

I hear him call her name sometimes,

but I really don't know why.

Maybe if I call her,

she will hurry home to me.

Is Heaven very far away,

is it across the sea?

She's been gone a long, long time

she needs to come home now!

I really need to reach her,

but I simply don't know how.

Help me find the number please,

is it listed under Heaven?

I can't read these big big words,

I am only seven.

I'm sorry operator,

I didn't mean to make you cry,

Is your tummy hurting too,

or is there something in your eye?

If I call my church maybe they will know.

Mommy said when we need help

that's where we should go.

I found the number to my church

tacked up on the wall.

Thank you operator,

I'll give them a call.

Abortion

Dear Mommy,



I am in Heaven now, sitting on Jesus' lap.

He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken.

I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what has happened.

I was so excited when I began realizing my existence.

I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes.

I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings.

I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.

Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me.

Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry.

I heard Daddy yelling back.

I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon.

I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day.

I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.

That same day, the most horrible thing happened.

A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in.

I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me.

Maybe you never heard me.

The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming,

"Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me."

Complete terror is all I felt.

I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore.

Then the monster started ripping my arms off.

It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain.

It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop.

I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off.

Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying.

I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me.

I wanted to make all your tears go away.

I had so many plans to make you happy.

Now I couldn't; all my dreams were shattered.

Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all.

I wanted more than anything to be your daughter.

No use now, for I was dying a painful death.

I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you.

I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand.

And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead.

I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place.

I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone.

The angel took me to Jesus and set me on His lap.

He said He loved me, and He was my Father. Then I was happy. I asked Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion.

I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels."

I don't know what abortion is;

I guess that's the name of the monster.



I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl.

I tried very hard to live.

I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful.

It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live.

I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you.

I didn't want to die.



Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster.

Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did.



Please be careful.





Love,


Your Baby Girl

chase those dark clouds away

last night i slept with tears in my eyes
i burst into tears, of sorrow and dreams

i thought i have this sensible person,
that understand me perfectly
that can chase those dark clouds away

he is the most important man in my life,
next to my father and brothers

he mean so much to me,
that i want o see him as soon as possible.

this guy is so simple a replica of what i enjoy most,
musics, movies and color.

he made my day complete, he give me the sun
to walk and to smile without me knowing i did.

i know him from the past, and he is such a wonderful person,
he is someone you can walk with in the rain.

the only person i trust my feelings with
and the only person i let invade my private thoughts and heartaches.

but all of the sudden i dont know him
i can share my fellings with
i cant talk to
i cant love.

If anyone should hurt you

If anyone should hurt you
And say a thing unkind,
Remember what I tell you,
And keep these things in mind.

For every one who makes you cry,
There are three who make you smile,
And a smile will last a long, long time,
But a tear just a little while!

If someone says a thing that's cruel,
Don't let it get to you,
There's so much good about you,
And your faults are very few.

So if a certain someone
Should act a certain way,
Just think of those who love you
And don't let it ruin your day.


Don't let someone who hates the world
Cause you to hate it too,
For behind the clouds is a golden sun,
And a sky that's bright and blue!

group date

group date


late n ang post n ito para sa valentines.. pero since frb p rin pwede n (di tlg nagpost nun valentines)

wala akong special date..

d ko rin naman masabing wala akong date dahil may date ako.. with my friends

yah with derly and arlene..

date ba ang tawag dun???

sa amin date.. ang tapic ay valentines date..

hala ata sa amin 2 na naiingit kami sa mga katabi namin na may mga flowers chocolate or letter with matching ka date na papa syempre..

naalala ko yun text message ni derly bago kami magkita-kita..

"sana huling taon na ito na kaming 3 ang mag d-date"

aba ang lola mo may apila sa langit.. sa bagay tama naman.. Amen

sana nga huling taon na namin ito ng group date.. sana next year kanya kanya na kaming date..

where not getting any younger medyo sawa na nga kaming mag girl date.. di naman sa sawa na kami sa pag mumuka ng isa't isa yun ay dahil sa panahon na para mag asawa..

tama mag asawa.. napagiiwanan na kami.. at walang nangyayari sa buhay dalaga namin..

sana nga kahit boyfriend.. ako nagkaroon... pero yun dalawa aha.. never been as in virgin pa ang mga kamay nila sa holding hand, di pa nakararanas nag masaktan at yun kakaibang kilig..

pano na yun..

nakakatawa pero kada mag kikita kami ni derly puro pag-aasawa ang topic namin..
how to find a husband in by the end of the year.. woooo hirap..

kung sana pwede mag txt sa langit na "pwede na po kaming mag asawa ipadala nyo na po sya now na..; )"

sana ganun kadali.. kasi nag sasawa na ako sa ganitogn buhay.. sa buhay single..

kung sinasabi ng mga matatanda magpakasawa muna sa pag ka dalaga bago mag asawa eh.. eto na sawa na ako.. ano mag aasawa na ba ako bukas.. pero pano manliligaw na ba ako.. magpapacute na ba ako.. eh halos lahat ata ng gusto ko dati ay may asawa na.. at kung mga wala ay.. may sabit pa or di pwede..

hay..

sana lang umikot na ang mundo ko at mamaya lng nasa ibabaw na ako..

reflections

Reflections

after kong mabasa ang ABNKKBSNPLAKo?? ni bob ong..

naicip ko may natutunan ba ako??

ano ba talaga ang gusto ko..

pagakatapos kung maka graduate so college ng BS. Architecture tila pumasok sa isip kong kalimutan na ang Architecture..

ayoko ng course ko.. kaya lang nandyan na yan.. kaya ko namang tapusin.. edi.. tinapos ko..

kaya di ko magawang profesion ito ngayon.. dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na di ko pinag buti o binigaya ng best ko sa pag-aaral noon.

di naman sa naglakwatcha ako. ok naman ang mga grades ko..

kaya lang alam kong di architecture ang mundo.. nandun sa laging tinatanaw na Fine Arts

sa pag pasok ko sa college di akong hirap pumili ng course.. dahil mataas ang grades ko noon high school. mataas din agn entrance exam ko. ewan ko ba kung bakit di ako kumuha sa ibang eskwelahan akala ko kasi makakapasok ako sa UE. kala ko kaya nilang pagaralin ako doon..

di pala.. pag pasok ko di ko pa alam ang course ko.. nataong naglilibot ang dean ng architecture.. kung baga nag re-recruit ng estudyante.. ayun nahatak ako.. napunta ako sa architecture..

huli na nang malaman ko na mat fine arts pala sa kwelahang iyon..

nabulag na ako ng pangako ng arhitecture na ako ang magiging boss, leader sa contrcution site at kikita ng malaki balang araw.. yun ay kung mag honor kang naka graduate, kung matalino ka at maabilidad at mayaman.

ewan ba tapang lang ata at happy happy ang nasa icip ko nun sa college..

di ko naman cinasabing impierno ang college days ko.. astig nga eh.. (saka ko na i kwento ^_^)

ayun naka graduate after 5 years..

mag t-tatlong taon ng akong graduate sa march pero hanggang ngayon wala akong naging trabahong related sa course ko..

una kong pinasukan pag kagraduate ko ay call center, sumunod finacial/loan company at ngayon eto sa isang NGO bilang researcher, proj staff, print and layout designer.

na a-apply ko lang ang course ko sa pag l-layout ng flyers, tarp at print publication ng projects namin. the rest ibang linya na..

malayo sa course ko.. wala akong hawak na malalapad na papel, walng t-square at mga lapis at tech-pen. walang binabasang libro na may mga sukat ng sala, kusina at desing ng bintana, walang malalaking triangle 45 degrees at 90 degrees at walang architect na mayabang.

inicip ko kung sa ganung lugar ba ako nag t-trabaho masaya ba?

ang mga clasmate ko na kasabayan kong nag graduate nasa ganun trabaho.. pero hanggang ngayon wala pa akong nabalitaang naregular sa kanila o nag tagal sa trabaho..

hay.. ano ba? tama ba ang gingawa ko nun college.. ang tumanaw na lang sa fine arts advertising at maki usyoso..

ano kaya kung magbalik ang panahon..

pipiliin ko ba ang fine arts magbabago ba ang katayuan ko ngayon sa buhay?
may asawa na kaya ako o di ko natapos ang pagaaral ko?
nasa makati na ako nag t-trabaho o naka alis na dito sa pinas?

alam ko.. nag sisi ako sa pag kuha ng kursong ito..

dahil wala dito ang puso ko na canvast, kulay, photography at layouting.

Nothing compares to you

Nothing compares to you

?#!SSS!#?

?#!SSS!#?

hay naku..

ilang buwan ko na itong problema ang makapag hulog ng SSS contribution..

grrr..

unang problema..

natuklasan ko na mali ang aking middle name sa aking birth certificate..

ha?? pucha.. pano na ito..

pano ko aayusin ang SSS ko dapat yun birth certificate ko muna..

so lakad.. NSO..

sus.. mali nga.. imbes na MERINO, MARINO ang middle name ko.. ampon ba ako anak ako ng mga marino..hehehehe

yun ang tukso ng mga kapatid ko sa akin..

kung kailang umabot ako ng 20s dun ko lang natuklasang mali ang birth certificate.. ko

sa marikina city hall naman ang punta ko..

NSO "ah eto na yun excuse me pano ko po maayos ang middle name sa birth certificate ko?"

"eto fill-upan mo ito.. isang from na kailangan ko ng i pa xeroz ng 3 kopya..
kailangan type written at naka notaryo.

dun din nakita na pati ang middle name ng nanay ko eh mali. kaya..

isang maliit na papel ng mga supporting documents ko..
birth certificate ko at ng aking nanay
baptismal certificate
marriage certificate ng parents ko
birth certificate ng mga kapatid ko
voters affidavit ko at ng nanay ko
school records (diploma/form 137)

3-4 months ang processing fee
P 1000 processing fee
P 70 ang LBC

wuwat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SSS ang gusto baket nandito ako sa NSO.. huhuhuhu T_T

ano ba itong kailangan kong pag daanan..

may magagawa ba ako.. wala.. waaaaa T.T

madugo ito..

unti unti nabuo ang requirements ko.. ngunit may problema.. wala ang birth certificate ng nanay ko kailangan pa nyan pumunta sa pakil laguna.. ano???

pano na yan..

ilang araw ko ring inasikaso ito..

ayoko na napapagod na ako..

nahinto ang aking paglalakad ng documento sa birth certificate ng nanay ko..

ngunit busy ci mother.. kaya di nya maisikaso ang birth certicficate nya..
kaya binalak kong mag punta kay kapitang recto.. hehehe mag papagawa na lang ako dun..hihi

wala..

wala rin akong oras para magsadyan dun..

anong petsya na.. magpapasko na noon.. kaya nahinto ang aking paglalakad ng SSS..

gusto ko lang maghulog ng SSS..waawaaawaaa

lumipas ang pasko.. bagong taon..

simula na naman ko sa aking pakikipag sapalaran sa SSS..

ilang araw din akong pagpabalik balik sa NSO at SSS.. papatulan ko nga sana ang mga pixer sa labas ng NSO para lang sa birth certificate ko.. ayoko sayang 700..

nang nasa SSS na ako.. natuklasang ko pwede palang gamitin ang baptismal certificate..aha..

bakit ngayon ko lang nakita yan.. meron ako nun..

agad kong pinakula ang baptismal sa aking kapatid para maka punta na sa SSS..

hala pil-up pila at anong napala ko.. tama naman ang aking requirements..
"pumunta ka sa marikina branch dun ka mag fill ng SSS contribution mo"
ha?? ano..

ang maagang pag punta ko at pila ko ay naaksaya na naman..grrrr
hala may magagawa ba ako..grrr..

ngayong biyernes dahil sa kakulangan ng oras dapat pumunta na ako ng SSS..

hala gicing na naman ng amaga.. ok lng biyernes naman ngayon konti ang tao..
pag punta ko pa lang.. nyaaaaaa....

umaapaw ang tao.. anong meron pila ba ng kasal kasali kasalo..waaaa
buti na lang kumuha ng ako ng form kahapon..

kaya fill-up na ako at pila.. meyo mabagal ang pila.. hala may lunch break pala cila kailangan makahabol.. kundi..

hay.. salamat nakahabol..

binigay ko na ang form at requirements ko.. naka cross finger ako habang binabasa ang aking form..

konting tanong.. "o cge tatawagin ka na lang"
ok..
medyo nakahinga na ako.. pero malalaman ko pa kung approve ang aking self-employed SSS contribution..

medyo matagal kung iba tila kanina pa at inip na inip na sa paghihintay..

eto na ang unang batch ng approved..
pinagpapawisan na ako.. pano kung di ako ma-aprobahan.

2nd bathc.. 3rd..
"divinagracia"
taas agad ako ng kamay..

napangiti agad ako sa pagbasa ng papel ko..
malaking approved ang nakatatak sa papel ko..

horay... after 3 months..

yohoo.... ^_^

marikina brach lang pala ang magliligtas sa aking..hihihi

i love marikina!!!