LIFE

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.
At age 35 success is . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
Cool You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.


GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when yo u choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

The Packet of Cookies

A young lady was waiting for her flight in the boarding room of a big airport.

As she would need to wait many hours, she decided to buy a book to spend her time. She also bought a packet of cookies.

She sat down in an armchair, in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace.

Beside the armchair where the packet of cookies lay, a man sat down on the next seat, opened his magazine and started reading.

When she took out the first cookie, the man took also one. She felt irritated but she said nothing. She just thought: "What a nerve! If I was in the mood, I would punch him for daring!"

For each cookie she took, the man took one too. This was infuriating her but she didn't want to cause a scene.

When only one cookie remained, she thought: "Ah... What this abusive man do now?" Then the man, taking the last cookie, divided it into half, giving her one half.

Ah! That was too much! She was too much angry now! In a huff, she too her book, her things and stormed to the boarding place.

When she sat down in her seat, inside the plane, she looked into her purse to take her eyeglasses, and, to her surprise, her packet of cookies was there, untouched, unopened!

She felt so ashamed!! She realized that she was wrong... She had forgotten that her cookies were kept in her purse.

The man had divided his cookies with her, without feeling angered or bitter.

... While she had been very angry, thinking that she was dividing her cookies with him. And now there is no chance to explain herself... nor to apologize.

There are 4 things that you cannot recover.

The stone... after the throw!

The word... after it's said!

The occasion... after the loss!

The time... after it's gone!